Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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If te have ever doubted the insanity of the C.A.T. Kittens, this will cease your doubts. I think it got long enough to be put into articolo forum thread. This makes absolutely no sense, does have swearwords, includes lots exremely odd things, and is kind of innapropriate. You've been warned.

~~~~

One giorno Bella fell over while being chased da Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and detto - "Edward, what are te doing? te know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"

"Yes, but don't tell Bella because she'll slap me and whine endlessly and probably try staking me and fall over nothing."

"I'LL EAT HIM!" detto Alice butchly.

She walked over to Edward and started confessing that she had crafted special BBQ sauce.
"Impressive. Can I pour it in that bowl over there of chicken?" Edward asked. "Sure" so then she grabbed her sauce but instead of pouring it, she threw it on Bella. "Yummy, That'll make Jazz so happy and sexy".

So then Bella ate herself and Jake and Eddy started screaming "why didn't te baciare me before te met Bella?" "Well, I didn't because I didn't know I was a lesbian until Bella killed Steve the spider"
Everyone stopped and looked at her while she cried "Bella! My love! Please, please don't eat the carcass!"

Bella ate him and Eddy screamed "I NEED TOILET!" So then Eddy grabbed Jacob and dazzled him with another fucking baciare with mega tongue and lower fondling that made Bella throw up all over Eddy's hair. Then Carlisle came in ranting about how to kill a demented cockroach. A humongous boot randomly came and toppled Carlisle over while Rosalie and Alice made out.

Emmett took off stealing the divano saying, "Score! I got Jasper!" Then he killed Renesmee and Jacob started break dancing in a red laccio, perizoma to 'I'm Blue' while eating snails and also eating Renesmee's carcass. Pogo stick here, pogo stick there, BOOM! Goes the pogo stick!

Esme then sang cheesecake love, meanwhile Carlisle ran away into the bathroom while the Queleutes fought Albus Dumbledore! Dumbledore won da using Avada Kadavra the green light of a lightsaber that flashed in the sky,, Voldemort ran after Edward screaming “Cedric I gonna finish you!” while Hermionie kicked ron into a fight with Emmett… Rosalie meanwile was arguing with luna (lovegood) about nargles. Eddy ran from Voldy accedently into the about the autore page s.meyer screamed “EDWARD MARY ME NOW o I SWEAR I'LL FEED te TO LOADS OF TWIHARDS!"
Edward detto "I'LL MARRY YOU!" So s.meyer wrote "I AM IMPRINTING ON YOU!" Edward started crying "Bella my Amore it was always sucks to talk to te but Smeyer must
die"

bella detto "No! Our Amore everlasts!"

So Alice and Jasper went to the supermercato to buy cena for Edward's Godzilla named Chuckles.
Meanwhile Edward proposed to carlise eventhough Carlisle is already a sumo wrestler. Esme found out and bit Edward. So he danced while baciare Carlisle. Jacob detto "Bella te are very scintillating and incandescant."

Meanwhile Edward and Rosalie sparkle fought over a micro pig with hairy tails and many ears and blue pelliccia which Rupert Grint detto was totally gay and pubescent but also scrumptious, as he ate many bacon, pancetta affumicata rolls while sumoing carlisle to dance like a headless chicken. jacob and renesmee hat each other,, they all sparkle with diamondy elegance and arcobaleno like lasers shooting out of their eyes.

So Emmett ran into the all repeatedly. Until Rosalie slapped him sane. So Eddie was with child when Bella exploded da turning into a giant headless monkey. Kumkuats fell on Carlisle, screaming insanely because Charlie's moustache tickled his sparkly peppa pig teddy.

Until Bella stabbed Charlie's peppa pig, Angela came in and cried ovr the spilled cornflakes, until she confessed "I'm a witch." Then Jacob said, "ME TOO! OMG!"

~~~~~

I'll update this in... a certain amount of posts. link

This whole story is the work of: CULLEN-HALE (The original poster), Myf_1992, Asvini, Pleniluno, moo000, PMT, Dearheart, ilovecreed_13, Cinders, xXSweeneyXx, Mrs-Grint, crazyduds2, OCFan123, kayleebabee, snoznoodle, Frizzhead, xxXsk8trXxx, twilight4ever-4, Free_Spirit, and himynameisEPIC. If I forgot anyone, please tell me.

(That took FOREVER.)
added by Mallory23
Source: http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/
I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but più often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. go to high school?”, o “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, o can be logically theorized. These are usually followed da “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, o “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, o my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...
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Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if te don't mind the lulz.
video
twilight
funny
parody
hitler
Breaking dawn
Stephenie Meyer
dazzling
criticism
added by Disaster
added by nuxi
Source: etsy
*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
link
2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete licantropi have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...
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video
twilight
Edward Cullen
funny
criticism
critical analysis
Bella Swan
Stephenie Meyer
Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between.
I think this spot and the majority of it's members have worked to ensure that when we talk about things we dislike about the series it's things we feel strongly about o have an actual point to make, not just mindless hating and that when we poke fun we try to keep an eye on the line between fun mockery and plain rudeness, even though that line can be debatable o hard to see. Still, there are some cases when I can see fan feeling left out, singled out o wanting out completely, and I don't like that. Part of the problem is something us antis can't really help with, which is that not many...
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added by Cinders
Source: RadRad @ fanpop
I'm just sayin' Bella is one of the worst role modelle ever when it comes to love, sex and life choices and should not have allowed to be published in any shape o form. I mean, when she's made the heroine of the story and marketted at teenage girls.

1. She's obsessively in Amore with a control freak stalker.

Unfortunately it seems the vast majority of the Twilight fangirls are too with the very same freak.

2. She wants him so bad that she'll abandone everyone else she loves so that she could be with him. Even when it means she'll practically have to become a blood-drinking corpse.

(The movie 'Eclipse'...
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 Credit: Very Demotivational
Credit: Very Demotivational
I felt a compelling need to write this articolo because recently I have found myself più constantly thrust into situations and debates where I have to defend the Harry Potter fandom against the Twilight fandom, which I despise so much. My best friend and her family are actually major pro-Twilight fans. This past evening made me realize that there are so many reasons why Harry Potter is much più awesome than Twilight, and its not just the obvious ones either. Thus, I give te all the evidence te will ever need to successfully pwn a Twilight fan trying to bring your fandom down.

Obvious Reasons...
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 OMG she totally ha rubato, stola that mela, apple from Adam and Eve!!!
OMG she totally stole that apple from Adam and Eve!!!
The people on this spot who know me will be aware I'm an anti, but I think a part of using this spot fairly means me not only talking when I have something against Twilight, but also fessing up when I don't think Meyer/the books/actros/etc are in the wrong. I've heard a lot about how many of Meyer's plot points are too similar to those in other vampire/fantasy stories. Well, that's never the way it's put. It's usually closer to "she totally ripped off _____. That's a stolen idea!" and I wanted to talk about why I actually disagree with most of those accusations. I say 'most of' and not 'all...
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1:57-2:44 Have I detto how much I Amore this man?
video
interview
New moon
Robert Pattinson
Jacob Black
Edward Cullen
Bella Swan
Jacob e Bella
Edward e Bella
added by bendaimmortal
Source: da BratPrinceFan at DeviantArt
added by Mallory23
Source: http://www.forksforum.com/twilight
Twilight vamps&other people;

Don't have fangs,
sparke in sunshine,
live on animal blood and call themselves veggies,
don't have a lumpy face,
live in really rich mansions(?),
don't have souls but are completely lame like rehabilitated drug-users(that never took drugs),
Can't be staked
Are looked (from the fangirls view)upon as superior beings that don't hurt anyone and call themselves dangerous
Stalk young girls only to seem romantic
Fall inlove with small children and beg to be their lover while they are like 16(just 12)
Don't belong in sassy teenage crap that is pure drama

They arenot vampires...
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Ok, so I visited a fanclub not too long fa and I noticed this one domanda I asked; "If Bella killed Renesmee, would Edward forgive her?" o something like that.

I looked at the comments, and at first they were fine. But then as they progressed to the più recente ones, I had one girl saying what a stupid domanda to ask, and some other crackhead telling me to go f**k myself.

Being my highly emotional self, I was irked to no end and I responded to these comments.

I'm trying to find a way to just cancella this question, because I postato it a anno fa and don't even recall the reasons why it was...
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Right ok, so there's all this hype surrounding Rob più so than any of the other cast from Twilight. But why?

It's not because he's the hottest. Because, well he just isn't. He was voted 'sexiest man alive' in numerous magazines such as heat and glamour. My personal favourite from the Twilight film is Peter Facinelli. I met him in July and he is the most geniune actor I have heard of. He has time for his fans, something which Rob doesn't.

Then again Rob does gets chased da crazed fan girls, so yeah valid excuse. But say if Peter played Edward, everyone would be all over him just because of the...
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posted by laureng114
First off, I would like to say that I have absolutely no problem with the C.A.T. spot and have just joined myself. If anything, I think that this spot is a good idea and is definitely NOT an anti-spot. The point of this articolo is to explain the point of view of a Twilight fan that does not just like the series because Edward Cullen is SO HOTTT <333, Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. are AwEsOmE, etc. etc.

Let me start off da saying that I am SICK of uneducated Twilight fan making the rest of us look like a bunch of air-heads. da uneducated I mean fan that scream their heads off whenever they see a picture of Robert...
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posted by Imyselfandme
Many people bash popolare Film because "It didn't measure up in the exact way they thought it would.

STOP PEOPLE!!! Stop your too Critical Analysis sometimes.Stop your phony rebukes.Just STOP!!!

And accept Film the way they come.

As a one time autore of a book called Elfin Magic (become a fan of it:link)

I think i can speak for all(or at least most)authors when I say It's FINE!!! If someone offers te a direct line to the Film and the autore refuses because the director says some plans that differentiate from the book and someone refuses then they are just stupid!!!

Miner changes and summarizing...
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