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posted by Seanthehedgehog
It was a great giorno in the Crystal Empire, but Juno was flying her plane with Proxy, and Jeff on board.

Cadence: *Sees plane with binoculars* We have visitors.
Shining Armor: Twilight Sparkle has found us.
Cadence: Perhaps. Shining, gather all of our soldiers to fight with me, but stay here.
Shining Armor: Cadence, I'm più powerful than you. Let me fight!
Cadence: No, te will do as I say, o you'll be executed. I need somepony to defend this castle.
Shining Armor: Very well, but be careful.
Cadence: I will. *Kisses Shining Armor*
Shining Armor: *Kisses Cadence back*

Okay, enough with the romance! Juno landed in the airport, and Jeff got off.

Juno: *Takes off in plane* I see a bunch of Crystal Soldiers heading towards your position. te better get ready.
Jeff: I got a better idea. *Grabs walkie talkie* Ich brauche Tanks in The Crystal Reich, und viele von ihnen.
Nazi: Kopieren Sie die. Senden zwölf panzer in der Crystal Reich.
Jeff: Danke.
Crystal Soldiers: *Getting closer to Jeff*
Jeff: *Takes cover, and loads up MP40*
Crystal Soldier 3: He has to be here somewhere.
Crystal Soldier 7: I don't see him anywhere. I'm telling te he's not here.
Jeff: *Shoots two soldiers*
Crystal Soldier 23: Ah, forget those two. They were always arguing for no reason.
Crystal Soldier 31: Well, at least we know that the intruder is here. *Sees tanks* Wait a minute.
Crystal Soldier 23: What?
Crystal Soldier 31: Tanks.
Crystal Soldier 23: Where?
Crystal Soldier 31: North of us!
Crystal Soldier 23: When?
Crystal Soldier 31: Now te idiot! Get rocket launchers now!
Jeff: Well, it's a good thing my tanks showed up.
Nazi 35: Get some Musica playing!
Nazi 41: Why?
Nazi 35: Because we were ordered to da Robotnik! PLAY THE MUSIC!!!
Nazi 41: Fine, jeez! *Playing song on loud speaker*

Song: link

Crystal Soldier 23: They're playing music!
Crystal Soldier 31: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!! *Runs away with other soldiers*
Nazi 22: *Shoots tank shell at soldiers*
Crystal Soldier 23: *Falls on ground* I'm hit!
Crystal Soldier 31: Why are they playing that music?! Everytime a squadron of tanks plays Musica on thier loudspeakers, they never miss the target!!
Crystal Soldier 53: *Grabs rocket launcher* Shoot them!
Nazi 41: *Shoots three soldiers with tank shell*
Jeff: Keep it up te guys! *Shoots Crystal soldier, then hops on tank* Get me to Cadence's castle.
Nazi 35: Roger that. *Drives to castle* Achtung, nur sechs verbleibenden Feinde, aber sie Raketenwerfer haben. Seien Sie vorsichtig.
Nazis: Jawohl.
Crystal Soldier 5: *Shoots missile at Jeff*
Jeff: Whoa, *Nearly falls off tank* Enemy to your right.
Nazi 35: *Shoots Crystal Soldier*
Cadence: *Arrives at battle* What is happening?!
Crystal Soldier 55: See for yourself Princess.
Cadence: *Sees tanks* Perhaps we should fall back.
Crystal Soldier 55: Great idea. Retreat!! We're heading back to the castle!!
Cadence: Follow me! *Runs to castle*
Crystal Soldiers: *Following Cadence*
Jeff: They're on the run! Keep shooting them.
Nazi 35: *Uses machine gun to shoot enemies*
Jeff: Leave Cadence to me. Twilight wants me to kill her! *Shooting at Cadence*
Cadence: *Nearly gets hit da bullets* We're almost there! Keep going!
Jeff: *Kills Cadence*
Nazi 41: Haha!
Jeff: She's dead.

With Cadence dead, Shining Armor was now in control of the Crystal Empire's army. He was watching the battle from the castle.

Shining Armor: They killed my wife!!! *Grabs Machine Gun, and runs outside of castle*
Jeff: Oh great, Shining Armor is running over to us. *Kills Shining Armor*
Nazi 41: *Laughing* Wunderbar!
Jeff: Danke.
Nazi 35: Achtung, ist die Kristallimperium jetzt unsere. Dank Twilight's Student, Cadence und Shining Armor jetzt tot sind.
Nazis: JA!!!
Jeff: *Sees Juno's plane* I'd Amore to celebrate with te guys, but my ride is here. *Teleports into plane*
Juno: *Flies to Ponyville*
Nazi 35: I'll never forget that pony. Such a good soldier.

2 B continued
 Twelve tanks showed up to Jeff's position
Twelve tanks showed up to Jeff's position
posted by Seanthehedgehog
On a highway leaving Ponyville there was a truck. It was carrying heroine, and was going 60 miles an hour. Suddenly three cars showed up behind it. Nikki, Sean, and Daredevil were chasing it.

Sean: Ok, remember the plan?
Daredevil: Yeah!
Nikki: We stop the trucks, and get the drugs.
Sean: Perfect. te two get alongside it, I'll get infront. *goes faster*
Nikki: I have the left side
Daredevil: Right.
Sean: *gets in front of truck* te in position?
Nikki & Daredevil: Yeah!
Sean: Then here we go *slows down*
trucker: *honks horn*
Sean: Now this is where arcobaleno Dash comes in. te hear me Dash?
Rainbow...
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posted by mariofan14
It was a rainy giorno in the town of Ponyville on a Saturday. Nobody wanted to go outside during a rainy giorno because they thought they would be afflicted da a little bit of gloom. But then, there was a splash in a little puddle. Someone was walking someplace. But who? Let's follow that particular pony, shall we?

This pony was making its way towards Sweet mela, apple Acres, but for what reason? To buy some apples? Maybe, but this wasn't really the case. Anyways, the pony knocked on the door in front of the house. Granny Smith opened it up, saying, "How can ah haylp ya?" "I've come for mela, apple Bloom," the...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Warning, this has a extremely intense car chase. If te don't like intense action then do not read

Russians: *driving trucks*
Con: *driving behind them*
Russian trucker1: Who is that pony?
Sanchez: Attention, Con Mane has stolen one of our trucks. Stop him at all costs!
Russian trucker 1: I see him! *slows down*
Russian pony45: *driving bus*
Russian pony89: Stop!
Russian pony45: *stops* Get the rocket launchers, they're in the trunk.
Russian pony89: *grabs rocket launcher*
Russian trucker 1: *rams Con*
Con: *rams trucker*
Citizen 8975: *spins off road*
Con: *rams truck into canyon*
Construction worker:...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Location - Near Equestria Moutains
Time - 5:50
Alpha Team - Bravo we near location...
Dan - Roger that Alpha... Delta te near
FireDash - ye- HOLY CRAP RPG *silent*
Dan - DELTA DELTA! CRAP
Alpha Team - WE NEED BA- *silent*
NightFire - RPG!
Dan - fuoco fuoco *fire*
Marine - THIS CAR GET ONLY 2 FIRES FROM RPG!
Dan - WELL FIRE! *fire*
NighrFire - I-I DONT KNOW WHERE THEY ARE... RPG!
RPG hit Dan and NightFire
Dan - *lieing on ground* crap... NightFire... te ok
NightFire - yeah *wstand up*
There was fuoco everywhere... they was knocked on 5 minuti and nuclear bomb exploted in air...
Dan - what the hell...
NightFire...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
It's the 11th Con Mane story, and it begins in Berlin Germany. Con's best friend Fenix Lighter, an agent for the German Secret Service, M.I.3 is on his way to a marriage. Con, and another pony is with him, until they run into trouble....

I was actually typing that while listening to the stella, star wars theme song! LOL

Fenix: Are we almost there? How do I look?
Con: Relax Fenix.
German pony75: *flies near them*
German pony23: ciao look, there's a message.
Con: *reads it* Follow me.
German pony23: *follows*
German pony75: *lands*
Fenix: *gets out* What the fuck happened?
German pony75: Sanchez escaped, he's...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
A lot of people think Moonraker is the worst Bond film, but what about Nightmare Moonraker?

We begin in western europe, as an airplane with ponies that are learning to skydive is flying 30,000 feet above the air

Russian pony: I have never done this before. Have you?
Con: No.
Russian pony: Oh te from United States of Equestria?
Con: Yeah. So is this pony
Luna: Hi.
Russian pony: Hello *casts a spell*
Con: What are te doing?
Russian pony: *turns luna evil*
Nightmare moon: *grabs parachutes*
Con: What did te do?
Russian pony: I turned Luna evil!
Con: te sick asshole *hits russian*
Russian pony: *pushes...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
We left off on the fight between bronies, and haters

Hater 54: *sets up MG*
Sean: *shoots haters*
Security guard: Stop the fighting!
Hater 54: *kills guard*
Sean: Enemy machine gun! Take cover
bronies: *hide behind wall*
Hater 54: *shoot at wall* Penetrate!!
Sean: *kills machine gunner* All clear!
bronies: *advance*
Jade: We got enemies with RPG's!
Hater 402: *shoots missile*
Sean: *runs from missile*
Hater 635: *shoots at Jade*
Jade: *shoots missile*
Hater 635: *dies from explosion*
Sean: *kills other missile carrying haters*
Brony 64: Let's sposta up!

We moved up a floor, and got introduced to 50 haters wanting...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
5 days later in caferia...
Dimitri - *enter caferia... *sits in empety table*
Dan - *teleport on chair and speed sit* *smile* suprised...
Dimitri - rly... te live...
Dan - yup...
Dimitri - what te want... I left GEA halfyer ago
Dan - I know... *show picture of Tulip* know that mare...
Dimitri - no...
Dan - oh she famous in Russia...
Dimitri - *grab gun*
Dan - ...
Dimitri - *pick gun to Dan head* fuck you...
Dan- ... bad chose *teleport*
Dimitri - *shoot*
Dan - *teleport behaind Dimitri and grab him*... te suck in fighting like always...
Dimitri - SHUT UP!
Mare - RUN CALL POLICE!!!!!
Stalion - I DO THIS
Dan...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
I was just driving to Los Angeles, which was a very long way from where I was now. Peekskill New York. I stopped here to visit my cousins, and aunt Laura.

Hater 24: ciao isn't that the guy our team tried to get 2 days ago?
Hater 532: It is. Let's get him!
Sean: *hears haters & drives faster*
Hater 24: All units listen up! We found Sean Bodine, driving a 2012 Toyota Camry! License plate is GRE-33K
Hater leader: Alright! Permission to shoot on sight.
Sean: *weaving through traffic*
Hater 532: *grabs gun*
Sean: *turns off highway*
Hater 24: *follows*
Hater 532: *shoots back window*
Hater 48: Joining...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
I escaped the haters, but now I had to turn around, and go to Frenchtown.

Mom: *calls me*
Sean: Hello?
Mom: What happened at your house?
Sean: Some guys tried to kill me, and murdered my dad.
Mom: I can see that. I want te in Frenchtown, at my place now!
Sean: On my way. I should be there in 20 minutes.

I made it into Frenchtown, but I wasn't sure how to tell my mom who was trying to kill me.

Mom: So what did te do after your father died?
Sean: I escaped.
Mom: How? They were at the front door.
Sean: Does it matter how?! I escaped!!
Mom: ANSWER MY QUESTION!
Sean: I climbed out of my letto room window....
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It was a regular giorno in St. Foalis, and then every leader of the mafias except Dan drove up toward a train yard.

L.P leader: We are dealing with a gang that can destroy any of us.
Fillydelphia leader: Twilight Sparkle is working with them.
Baltimare leader: She's the one we have to kill then.
L.P. leader: And Dan. There's also a grey hedgehog with them.
Fillydelphia leader: Let's kill all three of them then.

The meeting was over. And the Ponyville mafia was relaxing at their place.

Sean: *drinking soda*
Rainbow Dash: *farts on chair* A whoopee cushion? PINKIE PIE!!!!!
Pinkie Pie: *laughing* Wow!...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con ran toward the boats, and when he started one of them the koreans caught up.

Con: *sticks blade toward them*
koreans: *stand still*
Con: What te might call, a sharp edge on things. *drives away*
koreans: After him!
Con: Come on, why is this thing going slower?
filly: Hello sir.
Con: Hi.
filly: Would te like a wooden elephant? I hand crafted it myself.
Con: I'll tell te what. te make this barca go faster, and I'll pay te for it.
filly: Really? How much?
Con: Nothing *pushes filly off boat*
Constaple Weston B. River: I hate China.
Constaple's wife: Come on Weston, we just got here.
Con: *drives...
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hi everypony,its me jordy dash.unfortunatley my i pad charger broke so no fuoco dash: series D; im cuore broken as im Scrivere this on xbox and it sucks.this may be my last thing for sometime so if te ask me anything itll be rare for me to reply,before i log out i want to thank everypony here,thanks jordy dash aka jordan signing out ); i need to extend this to publiso heres pimkie lolololololololololololllllllllllllllllllllllooooooolllllooooooooooooooooooollllllllllooooooooooooooolllllllllllll
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con was stuck on the cable car, as it was heading toward some ponies that wanted him dead.

Fenix: Con! On here!
korean pony77: *shoots at helicopters*
Con: Get outta here, I have something else in mind *jumps off cable car*
Rareesa: Con!!
Con: *teleports at Rareesa's house* oh jeez.

Koreans, and swedish ponies were at Rareesa's house. They had no idea Con was there, so he got in his car, and left just when he got a phone call

Con: Hello?
P: Where are you?
Con: Making sure S's equipment doesn't get stolen. Discord is dead, but I gotta go find Rareesa.
Rareesa: *appears in Con's car* Drive as fast as...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
korean pony86: Intruders!
swedish pony48: It's the germans!
Fenix: Con, get on ze machine gun.
Con: *gets on MG, & shoots enemies*
swedish pony66: We need a rocket launcher!
swedish pony23: Here! *gets bazooka*
Con: *destroys bazooka*
german pony35: We have to land.
Fenix: Then do it.

All three choppers landed on the base, and all 15 ponies stormed out.

Fenix: Con, through this way!
Con: I'm right behind you.
swedish ponies: *fire at germans*
germans: *fire at swedish*
Con: *shoots enemy* Whoops! Forgot it was on automatic. *reloads*
Rareesa: I'll cover you. *shoots two enemies*
korean ponies: You...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The three ponies went for a walk toward a sciare, sci resort. Rareesa lives in a really cool part of town, literally.

Fenix: I have some soldiers stationed da here. They'll be able to get us from here to Discord's base.
Con: Alright, in the mean time the three of us can go skiing.
Koreans: *arrive on snowmobiles*
Fenix: o not.
Con: Go get those soldiers, we'll cover you!
korean pony62: Hello te two.
Rareesa: Hi.
korean pony62: Don't think about running, because we are getting help from sweden.
Con: te need all the help te can get to stop us. *shoots korean pony* Take his snowmobile!
Rareesa: *leaves...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Con's new Chevronet Corvette
Con's new Chevronet Corvette
Con reported at P's office.

Con: I got your call, what's Discord up to now?
P: He is now trying to kill agents from various organizations.
Con: He must have a lista with him.
P: He does. His first three targets are you, Fenix Lighter, and Rareesa.
Con: Really? Couldn't he kill some other pony?
P: He will, after he kills te three.
Con: *sighs* I'm on it. Should I see S before I leave?

The answer was yes.

S: Hello 0007.
Con: Hi S, what do te have for me?
S: Glad te asked, because it will blow you, and your enemies away.
Con: A missile shooting car?
S: Precisely, Chevronet Corvette with machine guns,...
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Mike: Who do we have to deal with?
Rainbow Dash: I found out another pony has been feeding info about our work to other mafias.
Dan: Who is it?
Rainbow Dash: Diamond Tiara.
Dan: I should have known.
Applejack: Let's kill her.
Rainbow Dash: Alright, but we have to do it before she leaves for Ponyville.
Applejack: Then lets kill her now, the sooner the better.

Applejack pulled up to Diamond Tiara's house with Pinkie Pie sitting in the back.

Silverspoon: We're moving back the same time that the CMC is.
Diamond Tiara: I cannot wait to make fun of them again.
Applejack: Howdy te two.
Diamond Tiara:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Pinkie was forced to find the treasure for Derpy & Octavia, who just formed another pirate crew.

Pinkie Pie: This is fake. te just had Twilight hypnotize some ponies.
Octavia: Not all of them. How much further?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, I don't know.. *runs away*
Derpy: *shoots gun twice*
Octavia: Hold your fire. There's no way she can escape.

But she did. arcobaleno Dash flew to the rescue, and got her friend off the island.

Pinkie Pie: Danke arcobaleno Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Now I see why they threatened to kill you.
Pinkie Pie: What does my german have to do with it?
Sean: Lets stop complaining. We're close...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
At the captain's quarters

Sean: WHO HIRED THIS CREW?!!? This is the most bloodthirsty, motherfucking fucked up crew I've ever seen so who hired them?
Everypony: *points at Pinkie*
Pinkie: *points at Gummie*
Sean: Your pet alligator hired the crew?
Pinkie: What? No, that's silly. The pony that lives in Gummie hired the crew.
Sean: headless ponies, and one that lives in a baby alligator. My god.
Derpy: Isn't it My Celestia?
Sean: Not where I'm from.
Derpy: Where are te from?
Sean: Mobius. It's another planet, which I placed into yours.
Pinkie: So te created Equestrius.
Sean: Pretty much.

Later that...
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