TDH's note: I haven't written anything fan fiction-related in a looong time. And I've never written a romance before. So this is basically a first - orso with me here. Also, this is a Marski story, just a heads up. It's short and sweet. Some parts might be a little overboard for some of you. And It's very fast moving. Just a warning.


It was a sunny afternoon. Skipper was sunbathing, Private was making Amore smoothies, Rico was taking a dip in the water with his doll, and Kowalski was in the lair, debating with himself.

"It has to be today, Kowalski!" The mad scientist slapped the sweat off his forehead. He was pacing back and forth across his lab, fanning himself with a test tube. Was it just him, o was it really hot in here?

"No, I can't! What would she see in me, anyway?" Kowalski bent over and huffed. He had to get some air. Thoughts were racing through his complex structure of a brain at 100 miles per hour.

"96.2 miles to per hour, to be exact," Kowalski rubbed his head as he was slowly being consumed da his overworking mind. Then he slapped himself.

"UGH, pull yourself together! I will run over right now. I should arrive at her exhibit in two minuti and twenty-seven seconds."

Kowalski heaved his chest and took a step towards the exit.
"I can do this! I am a man!" He pounded his torso as his stated this. Then he doubled over from punching himself too hard.

"I can't do this!" he shouted, "All these years I've been testing experiments and Scrivere out chemical equations about everything that science-" Kowalski's eyes sparkled at the word "-can test! But love?" Kowalski pondered, "The chemical attracting between living organisms has flabbergasted me." Kowalski flung his flippers in the air and looked down at his feet.

"I'll never be able to get Doris to Amore me. Not without cheating. I could probably whip up a potion to make one fall in love, but it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be real." Kowalski quivered his lip. He plopped down on the ground. Defeated da his own scientific mind.

Suddenly, the fishbowl moved aside. Kowalski quickly got up and pretended to be working on an experiment, expecting Skipper, who would hate to see Kowalski in the state he was in.

To his surprise, Marlene fell through the hatch.
She dusted herself off and looking around, noticing Kowalski staring at her.
"Oh, ciao Kowalski!" Marlene smiled at her long time friend. "Private detto he had some extra homemade smoothies in the fridge."
She opened the door to the refrigerator and rummaged around. She then pulled out a tall cup, undeniably filled with Amore smoothie.

"Hello Marlene. Er, how are you?" He looked away and continued to pretend to write something down.

"I'm great! It's such a beautiful giorno outside! Why are te cooped up in here? What are te working on, anyway?"

"Oh, er, nothing really." He chuckled nervously.

Marlene walked up to him and looked down at the paper he was scribbling on.

"Uhh," Kowalski stared at her.

Marlene frowned. "Doodles?" She bent over the tavolo to get a better look.

Kowalski stared at his paper. He had drawn small sketches of Doris all over the page.

Marlene smiled when she was able to figure out who he was drawing. "You still like Doris?"

Kowalski blushed. "Umm, sort of."

Marlene tilted her head and stared at him.

Kowalski couldn't help but think she was analyzing him. Then she smiled again.
"Do te wanna talk to her? I can give te some tips." She winked.

"Um, no thank you," Kowalski backed away.

"Oh come on, Kowalski! te are a super genius, yet te still can't figure out how to talk to girls!"

"I'm talking to you."

Marlene scowled.

"Okay, fine," Kowalski gave in, "I'm a failure when it comes to winning a female's heart."

"YES! Okay, first, Kowalski, te gotta man up."

"Man up? Is there a scientific term for that?" Kowalski tapped his head with the butt of his pencil.

Marlene rolled her eyes. "No. Just, uh, try to be più manlier.

Kowalski bent backwards and pushed out his chest.
"How's this?"

Marlene narrowed her eyes. "Uh, no. te look like a show-off. Girls don't like show-offs."

"Then how should I look?"

Marlene thought for a second.
"You know what? Scratch that. Let's forget the manliness. A girl should Amore te for who te are, not how tough te look."

"So then what?" Kowalski asked, like a child pleading for help.

"Okay, I know this is gonna sound really cliche, but just... be yourself. Find a girl who will Amore te for your scientific self. Someone who might actually understand half the things te say. Is Doris like that?"

"I don't know, actually." Kowalski scratched his head.

"Well, you'll find out. Just don't be a fake. And smile with confidence when te talk to her. Girls Amore an outgoing, confident guy."

Kowalski took out his clipboard. "Outgoing... confident," he scribbled.
"Er..." He frowned, "How does one... uh, flirt?"

"Just compliment her looks and appearance. Get up close to her while te say these things. Smile and maybe wink a couple times."

"I'll practice," Kowalski put down his clip board and walked up to Marlene.

"Looking good today, Marlene," Kowalski smiled, got up close to her, and winked.

Marlene giggled. "Perfect!"

Kowalski remained how he was - close to her and smiling. He swayed a little. Then he fell over.

Marlene laughed. Uh, almost perfect!"

Kowalski hoisted himself up, chuckling. "There's a 97.6 percent chance I still need a lot of help."

"I think you're actually pretty good. Just clumsy. I can't help te there."

"Okay, well, what's the successivo step then?"

"The asking out on a data part."

Kowalski scribbled on his clipboard. "Okay.. practice time?"

Marlene smiled. "Sure. mostra me what te got."

Kowalski cleared his throat.
"Uh, Marlene, would te like to experiment with me in my lab?" He winked, "With test tubes?"

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "That's your idea of a date?"

"Well, uh, what do normal people do?"

"Maybe te can ask Doris to spend the evening with te in her exhibit. Uh, because she's a dolphin, te probably can't walk around the zoo with her."

"How do I ask that?" Kowalski questioned after a couple secondi of scribbling on his trusty clipboard.

"Just the usual way. 'Doris, would te like to go on a data with me?' Like that."

"I'll try it on you." Kowalski again cleared his throat.
"Marlene, would te like to go on a data with me?"

"Okay good!" Marlene grinned.

Kowalski frowned. "But te didn't answer the question."

"Haha, I'd Amore to, Kowalski," Marlene giggled.

Kowalski smiled. "Okay, what comes next?" an eager look spread across his facial features, his pencil and clipboard hand in hand.

"Uh, this is the part where I'm not sure how to teach you. It's one of the things te have to learn on your own. Kissing."

Kowalski blushed and frowned. "Oh." his eagerness swept away, being replace with confusion.
"Are te sure there's no way to teach that?"

"Well, I could try.." Marlene furrowed her brow.
"Uh, come towards me."

Kowalski took a step forward, until he was about less than a foot away from her. He cocked his head at her, waiting for her instructions.

"Uh, borsa your lips - not too much. And uh, tilt your head a bit. Good. And close your eyes. Perfect. Now, uh.." Marlene stared up at him. "Bend down a little.. good! There, te are in the baciare position, I guess."

Kowalski didn't move. Marlene figured he would've stopped now, but he stayed in the same position. "Uh.." She was at a loss for words. Kowalski, eyes still closed, moved a bit closer to her. The only thing Marlene could think to do was close her eyes, and just wait.

After what felt like forever, beak met lips. Kowalski jolted, but stayed how he was. Marlene opened her eyes in shock. Finally, they parted.

"Uhh.." Kowalski didn't know what to think. That was his first kiss, even if it meant nothing.
"Maybe one più time?"

"Okay.." Marlene closed her eyes. Again, she felt his beak on her lips, but with a little più force this time. She decided to get più into it as well, because who cares? It's just practice anyway! It doesn't mean anything...
She rested her paws on his chest.
He still held onto his pencil and clipboard. After another few seconds, they parted.

Kowalski stared into Marlene's eyes. He felt an unfamiliar emotion bubbling up inside of him.
"How about one più time?" he gave an awkward smile. "..For science?"

Marlene grinned back. "Okay."

Once again, they connected lips and beak. She again rested her paws on his chest. This time she was a little più forceful. Eventually all thoughts left her mind, and she focused entirely on the kiss.

Kowalski didn't know what to do. During each kiss, he just rested his beak there and had Marlene do all the work. And boy, she was a pretty good kisser. Kowalski was surprised to learn this. Kowalski furrowed his brow as the baciare went on much longer than the last two. Suddenly Kowalski felt something wet enter his mouth.
"Is that.. is that her tongue!?", he thought wildly.
Marlene moaned and her paws moved up and down his chest.

Finally, Kowalski Lost it. He dropped his pencil and clipboard with a loud thud, and he flung his flippers around her waist, deepening the kiss.

After what felt like forever, they again parted.
"Holy mother of Einstein!" Kowalski exclaimed, "Where did te learn to do that?!"

Marlene let out an awkward chuckle, "Oh, I've learned many, many things back at my old zoo." She winked.

Kowalski backed away. "Er, I will ask no further questions."

Marlene cracked a grin. Then, immediately the grin went away.
"So, uh you're gonna go see Doris now..?"

Kowalski coughed. Did he even like Doris? All he could think about was Marlene.

He smiled.
"It doesn't matter anymore."