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What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The successivo time te and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a sondaggio to see which of te successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with te - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever te have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If te were really looking for an honest answer, te wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The successivo time te make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused da rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do te and your Friends keep track of 'who's easy'?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if te look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' preferito outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If te must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then te never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know te can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises o promotions were gained da arm wrestling the boss.
If te don't read this, someone else wil
added by Tamar20
added by Tamar20
Source: Desktop Nexus
added by h2o-fen-site
added by h2o-fen-site
added by aitypw
posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIII
IIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL!
HI EVERYONE!
TODAYS MY 2 EPISODE!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
ITS ME INVADER CALLIOPE YOUR HOST!
NOW ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE SPECAIL GUEST stella, star ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
clapdy clap clap
Invader Callipe:HI ZIM
Zim:I'M NORMAL *walks away*
WELL BYE ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!
WELL GOODBYE EVERYONE THIS IS THE END OF EPISODE 2!
SEE YA LATER BYE BYE EVERYONE!
The End!
Miss Carey: Hello, Allex! Come in!
Allex: Hi! What's happening here?
Mady: It's drama club.
Miss Carey: Come and unisciti us!
Allex: Ok. What are te doing?
Ed: We're putting on a play.
Allex: Really? Can i be in it? I like acting.
Nicki: He's a really good actor, Miss Carey.
Miss Carey: Excellent!
Allex: What's the play?
Mady: It's The Ugly Duckling.
Allex: Oh... That's for little children.
Mady: Yes, we're doing it for kindergarten.
Nicki: It's fun!
Ed: I'm the kind man.
Mady: I'm the kind man's doughter.
Alex: What about me?
Miss Carey: You, Alex, can be the ugly duckling.
posted by shutyourface
don't worry this articolo is not about pecora, pecore o bananas it is about a più serious matter.

this is a dibattito and i want everyone Leggere this
Scrivere a commento about what te think is write o wrong
ok?

so anyway

here i go


what came first

the egg

o the chicken?

thats my dibattito and i want EVERYONE who's a fan
of random to write what they think is right


and become a fan of me and become a fan of my
article

and remember

what came first
the egg
o the chicken

i am only doing this because i have been
wondering that for ages
posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys Amore flirts.
3. A guy can like te for a minute, and then forget te afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are te doing something?" o "Have te eaten already?" are the first usual domande a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all giorno but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
continue reading...
posted by milorox18
1. I Amore the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I Amore the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I Amore the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I Amore the way te look at me.

5. I Amore how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I Amore the way I can’t imagine a giorno without te in my life.

7. I Amore the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I Amore the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I Amore the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I Amore how I know you’ll always be there when I need te to be.

11....
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1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, o to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get te in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly da giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the successivo family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - te may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin berretto, tappo and feed him grapes when...
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1. At the movies: When te meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are te doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t te try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When te ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while fa and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask te somethingand i want te to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how te feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want te to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi o Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a password other than "password" o "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits successivo to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be più imaginative.

I will not bore my boss da with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some più excuses.

I will do less laundry and use più deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four domande to determine the level of your intellect. Your risposte must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating o wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: te are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in secondo place.
In which position are te now?

Answer:

If te answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. te overtook the secondo runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the successivo domanda try not to be so dumb.

2 : If te overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked da his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes home and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother risposte " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad risposte "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she risposte "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she risposte "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? te know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let te go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are te enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling te how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
Okay so if te live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The successivo day, cut the balloons off and te got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when te can barely sposta as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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