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What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The successivo time te and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a sondaggio to see which of te successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with te - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever te have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If te were really looking for an honest answer, te wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The successivo time te make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused da rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do te and your Friends keep track of 'who's easy'?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if te look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' preferito outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If te must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then te never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know te can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises o promotions were gained da arm wrestling the boss.
If te don't read this, someone else wil
added by Cantwait4book5
added by Tamar20
added by x-menobsessed26
added by ekmilie
Source: ekmilie
added by EllentheStrange
Source: Google image cerca
added by EimieRose
posted by invadercalliope
I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land

Searching far and wide

Teach Pokemon to understand

The power that's inside

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

It's te and me

I know it's my destiny

Pokemon!

Ooooh, you're my best friend

In a world we must defend

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

Our hearts so true

Our courage will pull us through

You teach me and I'll teach you

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Yeeaa.

Every challenge along the way

With courage I can face



To claim my rightful place

Come with me the time is right...
continue reading...
posted by jessicamc26
A stoner called the fuoco department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"






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posted by sapherequeen
 :)
:)
I just want to take the time to thank everyone here who has known me, been on my side, is a fan of me, cares about me, etc. :)

I appreciate every single person here, and despite my being very moody at times, I will always care for those who feel the same towards me :D

I noticed that I've been very...unpleasant on fanpop towards some people, and I apologize for that. All I could say was that I was in the Darkest Time of my life, and it consumed me entirely. But now, that will change >:)

I am me again. I Amore and respect those who have always been there for me, were kind to me, are my fans, and appreciate each and every one of te for the rest of my life :)

I Amore te all! Have a beautiful, wonderful giorno :D
 -LOL!-
-LOL!-
posted by KatiiCullen94
dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that te were real, that te all were , that he was.
There is evidence that te were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming o not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and te diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, o did i make te up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without te i dont know. But i want to find out. Do te think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for...
continue reading...
posted by twilight0girl
link

Nathan:
Dear Marni,
I am so sorry.
Can te forgive me for this?

Rotti:
Not the debt doctor
With the hungry scalpel!
Here's my prognosis:
Will they live...?

Hench Girls:
Doubtful.

Luigi:
Your the strada, via physician
carving flesh sculptures!

Pavi:
Paint your culo like rembrandt!
Ha! te Like-a that?!

Rotti:
Better start praying when te see him coming.

Luigi:
cause tonight its curtains!

Luigi, Pavi and Rotti:
Youre the night surgeon!

Chorus:
Remember who te are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember what te did to Marni.

Chorus:
Remember who te are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember...
continue reading...
added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with più than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are te busy?" o "Are te doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all giorno but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
continue reading...
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: dumage
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: listal
added by ilovekud
Source: ilovekud
added by Shelly_McShelly
posted by karpach_14
Bored? Need something to spice up your day? Why not annoy the living shit out of someone te love? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard o hardly working?"

2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as te open your mouth.

3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.

4. Every 30 minuti o so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.

5. Scrape your ring o your nails on the blackboard successivo time you're asked to do a problem at the board.

6. successivo concerto te go to, yell out "Mmmbop!"...
continue reading...
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