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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my lista of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let te know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything o eating anything te might spit it o something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the scopa late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baia they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's preferito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the fungo have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do te call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do te call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do te make an octopus giggle ten times?
te give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do te make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's preferito composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between te and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't te hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher detto it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the pomodoro blush?
It saw the insalata dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do te know if it's raining Gatti and dogs?
te step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do te know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do te get Pikachu on a bus?
te Pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't te dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do te call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
te boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton attraversare, croce the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do te call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's rosa and fluffy?
rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosa fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when te drink 7 coca colas?
te burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the pesce say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't te trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope te liked them. Make sure te check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
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Breaking Poké-Bad
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breaking
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The most realistic female android ever!
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the
most
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android
ever!
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posted by Canada24
link


Sense whatsupbugs reviewed Hazbin, I thought it'll be a fun excuse to re-review Helluva Boss. Back in the day, Viv made two pilots on her channel, both set in hell. And I knew from the beginning this was the one I preferred, the sitcom styled one starring Brandon Rogers and Richard Steven Horvitz.. Yeah that's right, she has Zim..

Like Hazbin, this series is intended for adult audiences. It deals with strong language, sexual content, and violence..

Like all shows, this has both positives and negatives, though the negatives are why I'm reluctant on watching Hazbin. Sense it's the same creator,...
continue reading...
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated da you.
I was so Come d’incanto da your beauty that I ran into that bacheca over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime te passed by, just so I could stare at te a bit longer.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
For a moment I thought I...
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1)"Why, do te find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I Amore the secondo grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and te actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with più than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are te busy?" o "Are te doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all giorno but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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posted by OmegaLeader
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

You call your victim and te want to confuse them. No laughing o anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my Friends do this a lot.


Script:
You call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do te want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is te who is calling me. Ok, so what did te need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. te called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! te are the one who called me! Now i ask one più time who are te and why did te call my at this...
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