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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my lista of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let te know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything o eating anything te might spit it o something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the scopa late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baia they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's preferito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the fungo have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do te call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do te call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do te make an octopus giggle ten times?
te give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do te make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's preferito composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between te and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't te hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher detto it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the pomodoro blush?
It saw the insalata dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do te know if it's raining Gatti and dogs?
te step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do te know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do te get Pikachu on a bus?
te Pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't te dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do te call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
te boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton attraversare, croce the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do te call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's rosa and fluffy?
rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosa fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when te drink 7 coca colas?
te burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the pesce say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't te trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope te liked them. Make sure te check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
added by Blaze1213IsBack
added by ShadowFan100
added by DanDan211985
added by Aspergirl
Source: Gatti
added by Mollymolata
#1: BLAND PROTAGONISTS:
It mostly seems to be female protagonists.
They just don't care for anything, they look like they don't even want to be in this film..


#2; MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ASSHOLES:
And these are the GOOD guys.


#3: JUMP SCARES:
Just stop.. Maybe te can try having actual SCARY stuff.
Weird images, dark shadows, that type of stuff..


#4: VILLAIN WON'T SHUT THE HELL UP:
te have him at gun point, and he's tied to a chair.. Fucking shoot him already!


#5: TRAGIC VILLAIN:
I don't mind this one, it often works.
But still, can't he just be evil, for the sake of being evil.
Like Michael Myer's in the original film?


#6: POINTLESS REMAKES:
Stop.. Just stop.
added by big-fat-meanie
added by australia-101
added by tanyya
added by shaneoohmac13
added by nmdis
added by dannylynn92
posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, te answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, te answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, te answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, te say “is that so?”
5. If te so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher te did not turn in your homework because te were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
continue reading...
posted by smileypop9
1.When te walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a più fresco, dispositivo di raffreddamento that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up lista is on my scrivania, reception for the part te would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up lista on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
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Sweetie
Sweetheart
My love
Lover
Pumpkin
Baby
Darling
Sweetie Pie
Baby Doll
My Little Cabbage (French)
Love of my Life
Angel
Beloved
Dear
Dearest
Dear one
Deary
Flame
Heart’s Desire
Honey Bun
Poubelle
Honeybunch
Lamb
Jewel
Loveling
Pearl
Pet
Precious
Princess
Prince
My Sweet
Sugar
Treasure
True Love
Beautiful
Beauty
Gem
Saint
Light of my Life
Object of my Affection
Angel Face
Babe
Buttercup
Button
Cherub
Chica
Dumpling
Little Angel
Little Darling
Little Doll
Number One
Prize
Tootsie
Doll Face
My Idol
My Everything
My Life
Object of My Affection
True Love
One and Only
Inamorata
Inamorato
My Passion
Valentine
Dove
Honey Bunny
Smoochy
Babycake
Dream Girl
Dream...
continue reading...
posted by TOTALIzzyluver
1) Lick your best friend's foot for 10 seconds
2) Rub glue on your face and stick various things on it.
3) Go up to a random strange and ask them for $50 dollars for a nose job
4) Go to a public bathroom and sit on the floor and when someone walks in yell this "GO AWAY! CAN'T te SEE I'M CLEANING!"
5)Put on a strange outfit and stand on the side of the road and throw pretzels at passing cars
6) Go to Wal-mart and go to a worker and have a conversation that goes kinda like this
YOU-Excuse me. Do te guys sell like everything? WALMART PERSON- Yeah. YOU-So where can I find the cars? My son wants a...
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just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped da terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds ha rubato, stola it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket ha rubato, stola it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
continue reading...
posted by Crazy_NarutoKid
1.The Characters are awesome


2.It can make te laugh so hard


3.It can make te cry like a baby


4.The fight scenes are epic


5.Theres blood


6.They swear


7.The storyline is really good


8.Theres Ninjas'!!


9.They have Sasuke(cool)


10.The weapons they use are so coool


11.The villians are so evil.


12.It makes te wish te lived in the Naruto world.


13.They have great opening and ending songs.


14.It makes te think about it all the time


15.It teaches te Naruto history
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google