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posted by jessicamc26
The Engineer

An engineer dies and reports to hell.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popolare guy.

One giorno God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here o I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are te going to get a lawyer?"
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posted by kitkat709477
No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the"exit delayed."

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You're not late, te just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're...
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1. meet barney

2. rob a bank while your still cute

3. write a threatening letter to the president

4. egg barneys house because he skipped last weeks show

5. slide down the big slide!

6. get revenge on the anatra floaty that nearly drowned you

7. be bigger than big brother

8.drink a beer

9. when drunk find bob the builder and tell him what i really think!

10. win the lottery, and wave the money in mommy and daddy's face because apparently "I'm to younge to get an allowance"

11. get over that vacum cleaner fear

12. win at tug o war with the doggy

13. hold the senator hostage in an elabrate murder plot where...
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