Dark Shadows - Official Trailer (Johnny Depp, Director - Tim Burton)

[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits successivo Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have te tried mostrare him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed da funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like te - very homosexually.
Contributed da funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - pesce Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...

Hi my name is Amanda and this is how to service 7th grade. On the first giorno of 7th grade I was so excited to see my Friends after summer yay. Well the first giorno of 7th grade really sucked but at least I got to see my friends. Yes it’s time to leave school. But I did not see one of my Friends Hannah that sucks because she went to Luray middle. Well I’m home and I just talked to Hannah on the phone. She detto “I might come back to page successivo semester”. “Sweet school is so different without one of my best friends” I said. “If I don’t come back don’t be mad at me”. “I won’t...

EMOTICONS Happy‏
^o^ ☺ ☻ ت ヅ ^.^ ツ ッ シ Ü ≧◡≦ ᵔᴥᵔ ^^ (°⌣°)
٩(^‿^)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃) ◕‿◕ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̮͡๏)۶ =^.^=
(•‿•) ó‿ó ¢‿¢ ٩◔‿◔۶ ಠ◡ಠ ༺‿༻ (^L^)
♥‿♥ ◙‿◙ ●‿● ^( '‿' )^ ^‿^ ❀‿❀ 乂◜◬◝乂
{◕ ◡ ◕} (｡◕‿◕｡) ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘ ◃┆◉◡◉┆▷ (▰˘◡˘▰)
< (^^,) > q(❂‿❂)p <【☯】‿【☯】> |◔◡◉| ⊂◉‿◉つ
✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌ ۹⌤_⌤۹ ⎝⎲⏝⏝⎲⎠ ⎝⓿⏝⓿⎠ ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
⎝ᄽ⏝⏠⎠...

France
Honhonhon! Bonjour English man! Grow a real dick and don't fuck with Peter Pan! I'm Francis Bonnefoy and everyone loves me! te call me a wanker, cause mine is the biggest! Fuck off with your kid brother, cause USUK surely hits it!

Britain
SHUT UP! te DAMN FROG FACE! The fact that your on the same continent is a disgrace! All te are is a bloody wanker, my rhymes hit hard, like Captain Hook's anchor! Your just a bloody whore, I can't stand your face no more, your such a prick! Even Sealand has più dick! I have an army of Red Coats! te have shitty little boats! Waiting till the last minute?...

Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so te guy will need a babysitter!


*10 minuti later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 minuti later*
Amber:I wuv tè parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are te doing?
Amber:Having a tè party!
Ashley:Can I...

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President o Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a anno plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

This anatra walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do te have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the anatra leaves.

The successivo day, the anatra returns and asks, "Do te have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the anatra leaves.

The giorno after that, the anatra walks in the store again and asks "Do te have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told te no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if te come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

1. Every giorno at school is the same
2. te never know if your braids look digusting o not
3. te are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. te would like to think that people notice o even think about te but te are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows o cares about
5. te worry people will write nasty commenti on your fanpop articolo that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all te do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When te only really have like 3 Friends at school and 2 of them...

The mostra SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The mostra SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed da a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine minuti of the mostra may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob o Caillou, in which immagini change più slowly, o to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...

I'm putting two funny articoli together in one, hope te enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I Amore deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would te know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what te need, and I'll tell you...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy orso on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some Cibo while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the cucina and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the cucina was when Tina got home she saw what the cucina was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their home the Teddy orso was hiding in the cucina cupboard as it chuckled...

15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 minuto power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course te sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the superiore, in alto off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are te discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...

dear diary, today was the worst - first a car ran over my lunch so i had to rob somebody's lunch money, secondo i got a F on my history paper, third mrs perrywinkle slaped me with her cintura serosly this is the 21 centery your not aloud to slap teenagers with belts, and forth when i got home my history paper fell out of my bag and my mother picked it up and started Leggere it so what did i do, i rushed upstairs into my room 1 secondo later i hear my mother scream off the superiore, in alto of her lungs LILLY GET te BUT DOWN HERE...NOW!!!!!!!! god i said, so i go down. what is this she detto uuummm my homework...

..... random Facts .....

If te have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, te have $1.19. te also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest random speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...