Nick VS Bicyclists
Nick: (Drives car down the street) Ah, a peaceful drive (Drives like a maniac) I hate it. It’s better to drive like a maniac (Bicyclist rides in front of him, and Nick stops the car) Wait, why am I stopping. I oughtta hit him (Honks horn) Hey, get out of the way
Bicyclist: (Listening to MP3 Player, not being able to hear Nick)
Nick: Oh, come on (Tries to look past him, to see the road) This is a catastrophe (Honks horn some more) IT’S CALLED A BIKE LANE FOR A REASON, te culo (Bicyclist turns to the opposite street, with a lamp pole now in the way, but Nick is too distracted da the Bicyclist to notice) Yeah, te better keep ride- (Crashes car into lamp pole) OH COME ON!!!!!
Nick: (Sitting on curb, as car gets towed to mechanic.
Cody: (Walks by) Hey, Nick, never would have expected to see te outside.
Nick: Quiet. I’m thinking
Cody. About what
Nick: About how to get revenge on those goddamn bicyclists, of course.
Cody: What are te talking about?
Nick: A bicyclist came by, cut me off, and made me crash my car. I will not stand for this.
Cody: What do te stand for?
Nick: Anyway, I need to find out how to get revenge on them
Cody: Well, te can’t stop them. Bicyclist are a very active group of people.
Nick: In case te forgot, your talking to the same guy who got rid of the Litterbugs in this town, o at least the entire università district. Now, shut up, and let me think in peace.
(Bulldozer passes by)
Nick: Goddamn it, can’t a guy think in this stupid town.
Cody: That looks like one of the bulldozers coming to get rid of the abandoned parking lot.
Nick: Since when was there an abandoned- Bulldozer, te say……….. Well, see te later (Walks off)
Cody: Huh, I wonder what all that was about.
Cody: (Walking to his dorm, after class, then see a giant bus in the way of the road) Nick, what’s this.
Nick: None of your business.
Cody: …….. Is this the university’s bus
Nick: What part of none of your business did te not understand.
Cody: Nick, what are te doing.
Nick: Okay, since you’re so nosy, I’ll tell you. After te told me about the Bulldozer, I had the best idea. I am going to block the road with the bus, take the Bulldozer once it gets here and destroy the bike negozio in town, so that I won’t have to ever deal with any più bicyclists again.
Cody: Of all the terrible ideas you’ve had, this is the worst.
Nick: Not really. The fireball spitter idea was the worst. And, this is a great idea. Dont te want to be rid of bicyclists.
Cody: No, because I am not a psychopath, like you.
Nick: Oh, come on, I am perfectly fine. I am 99.9% sane, with a very very very very VERY short temper.
Cody: Yeah, I noticed.
Nick: Now, te can either help o leave me alone
Cody: Nick, te are not going to destroy a shop
Nick: Oh yeah, try and stop me.
Cody: Okay, fine (Gets ready to hit him, but Nick hits Cody in the head with his crowbar and knocks him unconscious)
Nick: Never underestimate the power of a crowbar
(Bulldozer comes by)
Nick: Okay, here we go.
(Bulldozer stops at the bus)
Driver: What is this.
Nick: (Taps on the Bulldozer)
Driver: Yes
Nick: Excuse me, but, do te know the directions to the Airport?
Driver: te just go down this road and take a left, and it should lead te to it
Nick: Oh, thank te so mu- Oh, um, te got something on your nose.
Driver: (Wipes nose) Did I get it?
Nick: Not yet. Here, let me get it (Wipes his nose with a handkerchief) There
Driver: Hey, why does that thing smell like chloroform (Falls unconscious)
Nick: Perfect (Drags him out of the Bulldozer) I’m coming for you, bike negozio (Drives Bulldozer to the bike shop)
Bike Salesman: (Waits at counter) God, this job is terrible. People just come, take bikes, and drive in front of my car. I sell the garbage I hate. Why won’t someone just tear this hellhole down
Nick: (Drives toward the bike shop) There it is
Cody: (Walks in front of the bulldozer) Nick, I can’t let te do this. If te tear this place down, te will be denying people their dreams. These people bike for a reason. If te want to tear this place down, you’ll have to go through me first.
Nick: …………. Okay (Keeps driving)
Cody: Damn, thought that would work (Jumps out of the way of the Bulldozer)
Bike Salesman: (Sees Bulldozer) Oh, thank god (Runs out the backdoor, as the Bulldozer crashes through the building)
Nick: Ha ha, take that, bicyclist
Cody: What did te do
Nick: Why do te care. te don’t bike
Cody: Well…. I always wanted to.
Nick: Eh, don’t worry. te aren’t missing something. I never learned how to ride a bike, and look at me. I’m doing great
Nick: (In jail for destroying the building) Yep, still doing great
End.
Nick: (Drives car down the street) Ah, a peaceful drive (Drives like a maniac) I hate it. It’s better to drive like a maniac (Bicyclist rides in front of him, and Nick stops the car) Wait, why am I stopping. I oughtta hit him (Honks horn) Hey, get out of the way
Bicyclist: (Listening to MP3 Player, not being able to hear Nick)
Nick: Oh, come on (Tries to look past him, to see the road) This is a catastrophe (Honks horn some more) IT’S CALLED A BIKE LANE FOR A REASON, te culo (Bicyclist turns to the opposite street, with a lamp pole now in the way, but Nick is too distracted da the Bicyclist to notice) Yeah, te better keep ride- (Crashes car into lamp pole) OH COME ON!!!!!
Nick: (Sitting on curb, as car gets towed to mechanic.
Cody: (Walks by) Hey, Nick, never would have expected to see te outside.
Nick: Quiet. I’m thinking
Cody. About what
Nick: About how to get revenge on those goddamn bicyclists, of course.
Cody: What are te talking about?
Nick: A bicyclist came by, cut me off, and made me crash my car. I will not stand for this.
Cody: What do te stand for?
Nick: Anyway, I need to find out how to get revenge on them
Cody: Well, te can’t stop them. Bicyclist are a very active group of people.
Nick: In case te forgot, your talking to the same guy who got rid of the Litterbugs in this town, o at least the entire università district. Now, shut up, and let me think in peace.
(Bulldozer passes by)
Nick: Goddamn it, can’t a guy think in this stupid town.
Cody: That looks like one of the bulldozers coming to get rid of the abandoned parking lot.
Nick: Since when was there an abandoned- Bulldozer, te say……….. Well, see te later (Walks off)
Cody: Huh, I wonder what all that was about.
Cody: (Walking to his dorm, after class, then see a giant bus in the way of the road) Nick, what’s this.
Nick: None of your business.
Cody: …….. Is this the university’s bus
Nick: What part of none of your business did te not understand.
Cody: Nick, what are te doing.
Nick: Okay, since you’re so nosy, I’ll tell you. After te told me about the Bulldozer, I had the best idea. I am going to block the road with the bus, take the Bulldozer once it gets here and destroy the bike negozio in town, so that I won’t have to ever deal with any più bicyclists again.
Cody: Of all the terrible ideas you’ve had, this is the worst.
Nick: Not really. The fireball spitter idea was the worst. And, this is a great idea. Dont te want to be rid of bicyclists.
Cody: No, because I am not a psychopath, like you.
Nick: Oh, come on, I am perfectly fine. I am 99.9% sane, with a very very very very VERY short temper.
Cody: Yeah, I noticed.
Nick: Now, te can either help o leave me alone
Cody: Nick, te are not going to destroy a shop
Nick: Oh yeah, try and stop me.
Cody: Okay, fine (Gets ready to hit him, but Nick hits Cody in the head with his crowbar and knocks him unconscious)
Nick: Never underestimate the power of a crowbar
(Bulldozer comes by)
Nick: Okay, here we go.
(Bulldozer stops at the bus)
Driver: What is this.
Nick: (Taps on the Bulldozer)
Driver: Yes
Nick: Excuse me, but, do te know the directions to the Airport?
Driver: te just go down this road and take a left, and it should lead te to it
Nick: Oh, thank te so mu- Oh, um, te got something on your nose.
Driver: (Wipes nose) Did I get it?
Nick: Not yet. Here, let me get it (Wipes his nose with a handkerchief) There
Driver: Hey, why does that thing smell like chloroform (Falls unconscious)
Nick: Perfect (Drags him out of the Bulldozer) I’m coming for you, bike negozio (Drives Bulldozer to the bike shop)
Bike Salesman: (Waits at counter) God, this job is terrible. People just come, take bikes, and drive in front of my car. I sell the garbage I hate. Why won’t someone just tear this hellhole down
Nick: (Drives toward the bike shop) There it is
Cody: (Walks in front of the bulldozer) Nick, I can’t let te do this. If te tear this place down, te will be denying people their dreams. These people bike for a reason. If te want to tear this place down, you’ll have to go through me first.
Nick: …………. Okay (Keeps driving)
Cody: Damn, thought that would work (Jumps out of the way of the Bulldozer)
Bike Salesman: (Sees Bulldozer) Oh, thank god (Runs out the backdoor, as the Bulldozer crashes through the building)
Nick: Ha ha, take that, bicyclist
Cody: What did te do
Nick: Why do te care. te don’t bike
Cody: Well…. I always wanted to.
Nick: Eh, don’t worry. te aren’t missing something. I never learned how to ride a bike, and look at me. I’m doing great
Nick: (In jail for destroying the building) Yep, still doing great
End.