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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con Mane has returned.

We begin our story in Beijing, which was violently taken over da the koreans.

Con: *sneaks onto dock*
korean pony55: What was that?
Con: *kills pony* più like who was that?
korean pony21: I'll be right back I just wanna get some cider.
Con: *sneaks toward warehouse*
korean pony21: *shoots at Con*
Con: *dodges bullets*
korean pony21: All units, we have an intruder in the warehouse!
Con: *pulls out gun* Where is that manifest?
korean leader: What do te need the manifest for? Grenades? We made specially designed grenades to blow up an entire building. Now that te know this, I gotta let te go *kills Con Mane*

A few days later the C.I.E found Con Mane dead in the warehouse.

P: Bring him back to life!
Doctor: We can't. It's past 24 hours.
S: Well, at least he died on the JOB.
Moneybit: Yeah, *cries*
P: What happened that got te into this Con?

Fillies & Gentlecolts I present to te the 5th installment of Con Mane called...

You'll Only Live Twice

Starring

Doughnut Joe...........................Con Mane
Rarity........................................Rareesa
Discord.........................Ernst Staverald Discord
Pinkie Pie.......................................P
Spike...............................................S
Lyra Heartstrings..........................Miss. Moneybit
British ponies..............................M.I.6
Korean ponies..............................bad guys

Cars provided da

Chevronet
Equestrian Motor Works
Dodge
Canterlot
Horseche
& others that will be mentioned later.

The successivo giorno in Canterlot

Moneybit: Welcome back Mr. Mane.
Con: Thank te Moneybit. I better be più careful, cause I'll only live twice.
Moneybit: I hear ya.
P: Glad to see you're still alive 0007.
Con: Oh yes. Even though I died I'm on another life.
P: You're second. Now listen, I need te to go to England, and help M.I.6 stop someone from creating W.M.D's.
Con: What kind are we dealing with?
P: First it was grenades, now it's rockets.
Con: How big?
P: Big enough to destroy Manehattan.
Con: Well we can't allow that. I'm on my way.
S: Con. Wait up.
Con: Why?
S: P assigned me to go with you.
Con: Alright. Let's go to england.

So Con, and S along with his crew left for England.

Con: Where's the pony were meeting?
S: She should be over there.
Rareesa: Hello.
Con: Oh hey. Muffins are Derpy's preferito food.
Rareesa: Yes, but I don't know what they are.
Con: Now what do te know about the pony that's creating all those W.M.D's?
Rareesa: Nothing, except for that he's not a pony.
S: We must get going now. Where's your car?
Rareesa: It's that car over there *points at sports car*
Con: Sweet! I'm driving.

After 17 minuti of driving a sports car, Con arrived at a house.

S: Thanks for making us take the bus!
Con: My pleasure.
workers: Hello.
M.I.6 leader: Hello lads, what are te doing here?
Con: We're here to help te stop whoevers making all those W.M.D missiles.
M.I.6 leader: I also believe te have something for us.
S: Yes we do. Ok te guys, set up Little Mily.
M.I.6 leader: I'm quite curious Mr. ehh..?
Con: Mane. Con Mane.
M.I.6 leader: Oh right. I'm quite curious Mr. Mane, what is Little Mily?
Con: Oh she's a wonderful mare. Very small, quite fast, and can do anything. Just your type.
workers: *finish work*
M.I.6 leader: A toy helicopter?
S: No, it's not a toy. You'll see. Con, would te care to demonstrate?
Con: Sure. *climbs into helicopter*
S: te push this rotor, and it starts the chopper *pushes motor*
Con: *flies away*
Rareesa: Wow
Con: S! I see korean choppers heading toward me!
korean pony66: *shoot missiles*
Con: *blows up missiles*
S: *shoots pilot*
Korean pony42: We have a pony down!
Con: *shoots other pilot*

The C.I.E won, but they still had to find where the Weapons of Mass Destruction were being built.

When Con got back from flying Little Mily, M.I.6 found the building where the W.M.D's were being manufactured.

Rareesa: It's at the spazio station?
Con: Looks like we might be going to where Luna was for 1,000 years.
S: We're not going to the moon Con.
Con: Well lets just stop these ponies now!

So they left, in Rareesa's EMW & with some pegasi carrying the others.

Rareesa: Here we are.
Con: Let's do this. *grabs MP5*

Con, and M.I.6 stormed into the spazio station killing some ponies that got in there way.

S: *grabs pen*
Con: te gonna blow someone up?
S: Pens don't always explode *shoots tranquilizer*
korean pony72: Aaahh!
korean pony55: *shoots at Rareesa*
Con: I got this *kills korean pony55*
S: We need to get on that spaceship!
Con: Let me handle it *teleports his team onto ship*
S: Good.
M.I.6 leader: Now everypony get into a spacesuit.
korean pony21: Freeze!
korean pony33: Hold on, isn't that?
??: Con Mane. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Staverald Discord. They told me te were assassinated in Beijing.
Con: Yes, this is my secondo life.
Discord: You'll only live twice Mr. Mane.
Con: Yeah, only. *shoots safety valve*
korean pony21: What did he do? *shoots Con*
Con: *uses magical shield*
M.I.6 leader: Looks like we're not going into space.
S: Quick, into the escape pods!
Discord: *launches them all* Nice try, until then Goodbye Mr. Mane. *leaves*
Con: Teleportation?
S: Now!

Luckily before the spaceship exploded, Con got everyone off.

M.I.6 leader: Good work Mr. Mane.
Con: Thanks, but what about Discord?
M.I.6 leader: We'll worry about him later, but first we have another assignment for te to help us with.

And what might that be? Is it...

A. Killing Discord
B. Finding a talpa in M.I.6
C. Preventing a mad pony from launching più missiles
D. Buying tè for Rareesa

















If te guessed C preventing somepony from launching più missiles te are correct.

Con: So where is he?
M.I.6 leader: At the warehouse where te were killed.
Con: Oh great.
M.I.6 leader: Relax, with some practice you'll get ready.

M.I.6 was going to train Con with some karate.

Con: What exactly do I need to do this for?
M.I.6: Many koreans are experts in karate. Learning this will help te get the upper hoof.
Con: Well then lets do this.

So Con practiced with the other pony until..

british pony53: Ambush! It's the Koreans!
M.I.6 leader: What? Let's go Con, I'll have to teach te più karate later.
korean pony98: Keep firing *kills 53rd british pony*
M.I.6 leader: We have a pony down! Send reinforcements!
Con: *kills two koreans*
korean pony40: We need più reinforcements!
korean leader: Sorry, we cannot send anymore ponies out there.
korean pony40: Shit! Retreat!
Con: *kills più ponies*
M.I.6 leader: Easy! They're retreating.
Con: Alright. How about we practice più karate?

The two ponies soon got back to where they were practicing karate.

M.I.6 leader: *throws kick*
Con: *grabs leg & breaks it*
M.I.6 leader: Bloody hell, te learn fast.
Con: Want me to fix that?
M.I.6 leader: No, I think your ready.
Con: Excellent.
M.I.6 leader: Now all te need to do is travel back to time after your death, and get back your first life.
Con: That's all?
M.I.6 leader: It isn't as easy as it sounds.
Con: Well if I can only live twice, I wanna keep both forever.
M.I.6 leader: What if te die from being too old?
Con: I get my secondo life, and I come back as a foal. Good bye sir *time travels*

So let's see how this goes

Con: *sneaks onto dock*
korean pony55: What was that?
Con: *kills pony* più like who was that?
korean pony21: I'll be right back I just wanna get some cider.
Con: *sneaks toward warehouse*
korean pony21: *shoots at Con*
Con: *dodges bullets*
korean pony21: All units, we have an intruder in the warehouse!
Con: *pulls out gun* Where is that manifest?
korean leader: What do te need the manifest for? Grenades? We made specially designed grenades to blow up an entire building. Now that te know this, I gotta let te go. *shoots gun*
Con: te missed loser. It's not just grenades your making.
korean leader: Correct. We're also making missiles. Not only that, but we're launching the ones that belong to Germany & Mexico, making it look like they waged war against each other.
Con: Not if I can help it. *shoots korean leader*
korean leader: I'm hit, need backup now!

5 ponies then arrived at the scene.

Con: *kills all 5*
korean leader: *hits Con*
Con: *runs into warehouse*
korean leader: *follows*
Con: (Where are the missiles being launched)
korean leader: *grabs grenade*
Con: *shoots grenade*
korean leader: *blows up*
korean pony82: Stop! Hooves up.
Con: *hits pony* where are the missiles being launched?
korean pony82: *shoots Con's hoof*
Con: *pushes pony over ledge*
korean pony82: I'm still alive!
Con: Then tell me where the missiles are being launched!
korean pony82: On a boat. It should be in the docks.
Con: Thanks.

0007 then went toward the barca that would be launching the missiles.

korean pony96: We have an intruder!
Discord: Let him on, let him on.
Con: *pushes pony off boat*
Discord: Now kill him.
korean pony96: *grabs knife* Banzai!!
Con: *shoots pony* Wrong part of asia.
Discord: Welcome Mr. Mane.
Con: Hello Discord. So you're trying to get Germany into war with Mexico.
Discord: Yes, precisely. Not only that, but I'll be launchcing my own.
Con: What for?
Discord: To destroy all of China so that Korea can have it.
Con: Not on my watch *hits Discord with clock* o on your clock.
Discord: It's not mine *grabs gun*
Con: *shoots it* Don't launch the missiles & I'll let te live.
Discord: I have to. *goes for button*
Con: *kills Discord* Finally! *time travels back to present*

None of the missiles were launched, but Con may deal with the same enemy in his successivo adventure, On Celestia's Secret Service

The End
added by windwakerguy430
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Rick was pointing his trademark revolver at Axel and Oscar.

"I don't want no lies out of te two. When te been a stripper as long as I have, te know when people are lying!" Rick cried 'almost' intelligently.

Before long Axel broke down and began pleading for his life.

Even in Rick's immature stupidy, he still began feeling large sympathy towards Axel, and spared both him and Oscar.

Rick met up with Lori out side.

"How did it go in there?" Lori asked.

"I like pie!" Rick cried randomly.

"I know te do, but how did it g-

"Remember when Carl was born?" Rick cried happily.

Lori smiled at the memory.

FLASHBACK:...
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So, Happy Thanksgiving everyone. It's a time for joy, and happiness, so, what better way to celebrate it then to crush all that happiness and bring sadness instead...... Wow, when I say that outloud, I sound like a real jerk. Anyway, the rules are simple, only one Anime per franchise, I had to have seen it, and, it had to have at least moved me in a way. So, with that, lets start the list. (Warning. This lista contains massive spoilers for anime. Read at your own risk).

10: Nagisa's Death from Clannad: After Story - Now, some of te may want this to be higher. Please, hear me out first. This...
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At the meantime, Dale was trying to convince Andrea that Shane killed Ottis.

"You have any prof of this?" Andrea insisted.

"Well.. What about what he told me earlier.

EARLIER:

Meggie: (being extra nice to Shane)

Shane: (to Dale) te know Maggie has really flourished since Ottis was murdered.

Dale: What are te talking about. Ottis's death was an accident.

Shane: (grins evilly) witch is excatly what someone who pulled off the perfect murder, would want te to think.

Dale: What are y-. (getting nervous) Shane.. Did you.. Did te kill Ottis.

Shane: Of coarse not Dale. (his head slowly starts turning to...
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