Malcolm: Hello, my name is Malcolm. May I help te (Looks at the mirror) Come on, Malcolm. te can do it. It’s as simple as every other day. te can do this…. (Sighs) No, te can’t. But what choice do te got. (Puts on his red store vest and heads out) (Gets on his scooter and rides it to work)
Malcolm: (Arrives at the Final Stop grocery store) (Walks into the store)
Customer: Excuse me, this latte is expired
Malcolm: Sorry, I haven’t clocked in yet. Go talk to another employee (Walks to the back and checks in)
Roland: Hey, Malcolm. te late too (Checks in)
Malcolm: As always. (Walks back out)
Customer: Excuse me, about the milk
Malcolm: I only work the cash register. Bug someone else
Roland: Hey, don’t worry. I got you. This is very fresh milk. I would now. Mr. campana, bell says to sell it no matter what
Customer: This latte is way past it’s date
Roland: No it’s not. Watch (Opens the cartoon and tries to drink it, but the block of spoiled latte doesn’t come out) Trust me, latte tastes better with age.
Customer: Go to hell (Walks out)
Malcolm: Jokes on you, we’re already there.
Roland: Now come on. This place isn’t hell
Malcolm: Oh really? te don’t think so? Have te been to the back? Have te seen what’s back there
Roland: A giant flaming vortex?
Malcolm: That’s right. A giant flaming vortex. And who is Mr. Bell?
Roland: Well?
Mr. Bell: (Walks out, his horns hidden underneath a hat) Who the hell cares what te two are talking about. I don’t pay te to talk
Malcolm: te barely pay us at all
Mr. Bell: Exactly: Just look at all the customers we have to deal with (There is only three customers in the store). te two shouldn’t be slacking off while we have customers
Malcolm: And what do te call sitting in your office and giving out floor caramelle to children?
Mr. Bell: It’s called work
Malcolm: I’m pretty sure it’s illegal
Mr. Bell: It’s work. It’s letting the children know who to come to for free candy. And it would have worked too if the police hadn’t told me to stop due to possibly being a predator
Malcolm: Look, te do your own thing and will do ours
Mr. Bell: No, I’ll do my own thing and you’ll do what I say. I’m your boss. Now, since te two want to be so rude and loud, te two can go and take care of the ratto problem in the back. If the health inspector finds those again, we’ll be screwed.
Malcolm: Maybe we’ll get fired
Mr. Bell: Yeah. It’s terrible
Malcolm: Yep…. so terrible (Thinks of how great it will be)
Mr. Bell: Which is why that won’t happen. Now get going (Hands him a shovel) Use this on them
Malcolm: (Walks into the back with Roland) I swear, it’s always us who has to go in the back (Presses his back against the bacheca as he slides against it to avoid falling into the flaming vortex in the floor)
Roland: (Slides along the wall) Hey, at least we get away from the customers
Malcolm: Fair point (Makes it to the other side) Now let’s look for the rats
(A large horned ratto looks over and screeches at them)
Malcolm: (Smashes it with the shovel and gets blood on it) That’s one. Let’s go find the rest.
Emilia: (Starts stacking the shelves)
June: (Tries stacking them, but her breasts end up knocking them over) Oh, sorry
Emilia: (Just looks at her and picks them up off the ground)
June: Really sorry, Emilia
Emilia: I heard te the first time, June. Stop apologizing already
June: Sorry
Emilia: (Looks over at her for a moment, then goes back to stacking them)
June: Why don’t te talk to anyone here
Emilia: Why should I? I just want to go to work, get done, and go home so I can do it again tomorrow.
June: But that’s no fun. Why don’t te come with me and my Friends tonight? Think of it as a girls night out
Emilia: Not to be rude, but I would rather be gagged with a pitchfork than go on a girls night out
June: …. Oh. Well, can te at least think about it
Emilia: No (Keeps working)
June: Okay…. Sorry
Emilia: And I detto to stop apologizing
Benedict: I don’t get it. Why don’t people like me. I’m rich, handsome, and far better in life than they are. I thought that being a success and più amazing at life than they are, that they would like me a lot more
Thomas: (Does all of Benedict’s work) I don’t know, Benedict. It’s crazy
Benedict: Exactly. I even asked Emilia out on a date, and she said, “Go choke on a chainsaw”. I don’t know why. I was just being polite, even if I did say that she had to wear something less hideous, and put on a bit più make-up. I thought people liked an honest man.
Thomas: I thought so too, Benedict.
Malcolm: (Holding a bloody shovel) Alright, I think that is about all of them, Roland
Roland: Great. I didn’t think we’d ever be done with this
Mr. Bell: (Walks in, his tail getting caught in the closing door) (Opens it and gets his tail out) So, did te two manage to finally kill the rats?
Malcolm: Yeah, we did. And it wasn’t easy
Mr. Bell: Great (Tosses them both a knife) Now you’re both on butcher duty
Malcolm: Neither of us are butchers
Mr. Bell: And I’m not a human, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to be one, does it? Those rats are pretty big, so te two can cut them open and sell it. te can call it Down Under Steak. They’ll think it’s Australian. People today eat up that foreign crap. (Walks out)
Malcolm: (Hands Roland the knife) You’re turn to do the work
Mr. Bell: (Sits outside the store as he watches the leaves falling, drinking coffee) Can there be a place as pretty as the city of Ford?
(Admires the drug dealers and people having sex in a car, all within the store parking lot)
Mr. Bell: (Sighs)
Eric: (Sits successivo to Mr. Bell) Hey, man. How are things
Mr. Bell: Oh god, this guy again.
Eric: Hey, man, how are things?
Mr. Bell: Great, and then te had to mostra your holy face. How’s your dad doing. I bet he must be doing real well, after he kicked me out of Heaven.
Eric: Man, I don’t know. I’m just here on vacation for the successivo century. Just wanted to see how the world was after I gave myself up for it. It’s pretty chill down here. Pretty cool
Mr. Bell: Yeah, chill. Is that the new lingo kids are using nowadays?
Eric: Anyway, man, I’d better get back to my store.
Mr. Bell: What?! (Gets up off the bench) te have a store too?
Eric: Yeah man. We call it Theresa’s. Catchy, huh? We pay our workers with the right amount of money
Mr. Bell: Are te serious?
Eric: We make sure to buy all healthy products
Mr. Bell: (Gags)
Eric: And we give our customers our utmost respect
Mr. Bell: Stop, stop, you’re making me sick. And I thought I knew what Hell was. I ruled it after all. But you’re store sound so much worse
Eric: Well, man. If you’re ever around, give us a visit, man.
Mr. Bell: Yeah, thanks Eric H. Justs, if that is your real name.
Eric: (Laughs) te know it, man (Leaves)
Mr. Bell: Well, there goes my morning (Spills his coffee onto the ground and walks back inside)
June: (Holding up a sign, in a bikini) Sir, can I please come back in, it’s cold
Mr. Bell: No, we need some way to promote our store, and if humanity has taught me anything, it’s that sex sells. Now just shut up, look cute, and get us some customers, te big breasted goddess
June: (Smiles) te really think I’m cute
Mr. Bell: Sure, whatever. Just keep working (Walks inside)
June: (Sits there) My arms are getting tired.
Mr. Bell: (Has Malcolm, Roland, Emilia, Benedict, and Thomas at a meeting) Listen, everyone. There is a new negozio trying to screw us over. And that store is known as Theresa’s. We need to make sure that Theresa’s regrets the giorno it ever tried to mess with us.
Roland: Actually, I think they want to support us.
Mr. Bell: They want to destroy us. They’re just hiding it
Emilia: (Holds up frutta basket) We got this basket from them wishing us luck with the store
Mr. Bell: (Picks up the frutta basket) Don’t accept gifts from the enemy (Dumps it in the trash) Now listen, there are gonna be some changes to this place. That requires better produce, respecting the customers more, and longer working hours… no extra pay, before anyone asks
(Everyone hands immediately go down)
Mr. Bell: Now, everyone go home. We need to make sure that we beat these pricks, so rest well
Malcolm: (Checks out)
Emilia: (Checks out)
Malcolm: I swear, this place is such a pain in the ass
Emilia: te can say that again
Malcolm: (Laughs)
Emilia: In what way was that funny
Malcolm: (Goes quiet) You’re not a very happy person, huh?
Emilia: I work at this place. Why should I be
Malcolm: I guess te make a point
Emilia: I always do
(They walk out into the parking lot)
Malcolm: So, why don’t te quit
Emilia: Believe me, I would if I could
Malcolm: Why not?
Emilia: Let’s just say that I’ve known Mr. campana, bell for some time, so I can’t exactly quit
Malcolm: Wanna talk about it?
Emilia: Maybe some other time
Malcolm: Sure, I understand. Well, take care, Emilia
Emilia: Yeah, te too (Gets in her car and drives off)
Malcolm: (Gets on his scooter and drives off)
June: (See’s them leave, still holding up the sign) Guys, please, I’m getting really cold now.
Malcolm: (Arrives at the Final Stop grocery store) (Walks into the store)
Customer: Excuse me, this latte is expired
Malcolm: Sorry, I haven’t clocked in yet. Go talk to another employee (Walks to the back and checks in)
Roland: Hey, Malcolm. te late too (Checks in)
Malcolm: As always. (Walks back out)
Customer: Excuse me, about the milk
Malcolm: I only work the cash register. Bug someone else
Roland: Hey, don’t worry. I got you. This is very fresh milk. I would now. Mr. campana, bell says to sell it no matter what
Customer: This latte is way past it’s date
Roland: No it’s not. Watch (Opens the cartoon and tries to drink it, but the block of spoiled latte doesn’t come out) Trust me, latte tastes better with age.
Customer: Go to hell (Walks out)
Malcolm: Jokes on you, we’re already there.
Roland: Now come on. This place isn’t hell
Malcolm: Oh really? te don’t think so? Have te been to the back? Have te seen what’s back there
Roland: A giant flaming vortex?
Malcolm: That’s right. A giant flaming vortex. And who is Mr. Bell?
Roland: Well?
Mr. Bell: (Walks out, his horns hidden underneath a hat) Who the hell cares what te two are talking about. I don’t pay te to talk
Malcolm: te barely pay us at all
Mr. Bell: Exactly: Just look at all the customers we have to deal with (There is only three customers in the store). te two shouldn’t be slacking off while we have customers
Malcolm: And what do te call sitting in your office and giving out floor caramelle to children?
Mr. Bell: It’s called work
Malcolm: I’m pretty sure it’s illegal
Mr. Bell: It’s work. It’s letting the children know who to come to for free candy. And it would have worked too if the police hadn’t told me to stop due to possibly being a predator
Malcolm: Look, te do your own thing and will do ours
Mr. Bell: No, I’ll do my own thing and you’ll do what I say. I’m your boss. Now, since te two want to be so rude and loud, te two can go and take care of the ratto problem in the back. If the health inspector finds those again, we’ll be screwed.
Malcolm: Maybe we’ll get fired
Mr. Bell: Yeah. It’s terrible
Malcolm: Yep…. so terrible (Thinks of how great it will be)
Mr. Bell: Which is why that won’t happen. Now get going (Hands him a shovel) Use this on them
Malcolm: (Walks into the back with Roland) I swear, it’s always us who has to go in the back (Presses his back against the bacheca as he slides against it to avoid falling into the flaming vortex in the floor)
Roland: (Slides along the wall) Hey, at least we get away from the customers
Malcolm: Fair point (Makes it to the other side) Now let’s look for the rats
(A large horned ratto looks over and screeches at them)
Malcolm: (Smashes it with the shovel and gets blood on it) That’s one. Let’s go find the rest.
Emilia: (Starts stacking the shelves)
June: (Tries stacking them, but her breasts end up knocking them over) Oh, sorry
Emilia: (Just looks at her and picks them up off the ground)
June: Really sorry, Emilia
Emilia: I heard te the first time, June. Stop apologizing already
June: Sorry
Emilia: (Looks over at her for a moment, then goes back to stacking them)
June: Why don’t te talk to anyone here
Emilia: Why should I? I just want to go to work, get done, and go home so I can do it again tomorrow.
June: But that’s no fun. Why don’t te come with me and my Friends tonight? Think of it as a girls night out
Emilia: Not to be rude, but I would rather be gagged with a pitchfork than go on a girls night out
June: …. Oh. Well, can te at least think about it
Emilia: No (Keeps working)
June: Okay…. Sorry
Emilia: And I detto to stop apologizing
Benedict: I don’t get it. Why don’t people like me. I’m rich, handsome, and far better in life than they are. I thought that being a success and più amazing at life than they are, that they would like me a lot more
Thomas: (Does all of Benedict’s work) I don’t know, Benedict. It’s crazy
Benedict: Exactly. I even asked Emilia out on a date, and she said, “Go choke on a chainsaw”. I don’t know why. I was just being polite, even if I did say that she had to wear something less hideous, and put on a bit più make-up. I thought people liked an honest man.
Thomas: I thought so too, Benedict.
Malcolm: (Holding a bloody shovel) Alright, I think that is about all of them, Roland
Roland: Great. I didn’t think we’d ever be done with this
Mr. Bell: (Walks in, his tail getting caught in the closing door) (Opens it and gets his tail out) So, did te two manage to finally kill the rats?
Malcolm: Yeah, we did. And it wasn’t easy
Mr. Bell: Great (Tosses them both a knife) Now you’re both on butcher duty
Malcolm: Neither of us are butchers
Mr. Bell: And I’m not a human, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to be one, does it? Those rats are pretty big, so te two can cut them open and sell it. te can call it Down Under Steak. They’ll think it’s Australian. People today eat up that foreign crap. (Walks out)
Malcolm: (Hands Roland the knife) You’re turn to do the work
Mr. Bell: (Sits outside the store as he watches the leaves falling, drinking coffee) Can there be a place as pretty as the city of Ford?
(Admires the drug dealers and people having sex in a car, all within the store parking lot)
Mr. Bell: (Sighs)
Eric: (Sits successivo to Mr. Bell) Hey, man. How are things
Mr. Bell: Oh god, this guy again.
Eric: Hey, man, how are things?
Mr. Bell: Great, and then te had to mostra your holy face. How’s your dad doing. I bet he must be doing real well, after he kicked me out of Heaven.
Eric: Man, I don’t know. I’m just here on vacation for the successivo century. Just wanted to see how the world was after I gave myself up for it. It’s pretty chill down here. Pretty cool
Mr. Bell: Yeah, chill. Is that the new lingo kids are using nowadays?
Eric: Anyway, man, I’d better get back to my store.
Mr. Bell: What?! (Gets up off the bench) te have a store too?
Eric: Yeah man. We call it Theresa’s. Catchy, huh? We pay our workers with the right amount of money
Mr. Bell: Are te serious?
Eric: We make sure to buy all healthy products
Mr. Bell: (Gags)
Eric: And we give our customers our utmost respect
Mr. Bell: Stop, stop, you’re making me sick. And I thought I knew what Hell was. I ruled it after all. But you’re store sound so much worse
Eric: Well, man. If you’re ever around, give us a visit, man.
Mr. Bell: Yeah, thanks Eric H. Justs, if that is your real name.
Eric: (Laughs) te know it, man (Leaves)
Mr. Bell: Well, there goes my morning (Spills his coffee onto the ground and walks back inside)
June: (Holding up a sign, in a bikini) Sir, can I please come back in, it’s cold
Mr. Bell: No, we need some way to promote our store, and if humanity has taught me anything, it’s that sex sells. Now just shut up, look cute, and get us some customers, te big breasted goddess
June: (Smiles) te really think I’m cute
Mr. Bell: Sure, whatever. Just keep working (Walks inside)
June: (Sits there) My arms are getting tired.
Mr. Bell: (Has Malcolm, Roland, Emilia, Benedict, and Thomas at a meeting) Listen, everyone. There is a new negozio trying to screw us over. And that store is known as Theresa’s. We need to make sure that Theresa’s regrets the giorno it ever tried to mess with us.
Roland: Actually, I think they want to support us.
Mr. Bell: They want to destroy us. They’re just hiding it
Emilia: (Holds up frutta basket) We got this basket from them wishing us luck with the store
Mr. Bell: (Picks up the frutta basket) Don’t accept gifts from the enemy (Dumps it in the trash) Now listen, there are gonna be some changes to this place. That requires better produce, respecting the customers more, and longer working hours… no extra pay, before anyone asks
(Everyone hands immediately go down)
Mr. Bell: Now, everyone go home. We need to make sure that we beat these pricks, so rest well
Malcolm: (Checks out)
Emilia: (Checks out)
Malcolm: I swear, this place is such a pain in the ass
Emilia: te can say that again
Malcolm: (Laughs)
Emilia: In what way was that funny
Malcolm: (Goes quiet) You’re not a very happy person, huh?
Emilia: I work at this place. Why should I be
Malcolm: I guess te make a point
Emilia: I always do
(They walk out into the parking lot)
Malcolm: So, why don’t te quit
Emilia: Believe me, I would if I could
Malcolm: Why not?
Emilia: Let’s just say that I’ve known Mr. campana, bell for some time, so I can’t exactly quit
Malcolm: Wanna talk about it?
Emilia: Maybe some other time
Malcolm: Sure, I understand. Well, take care, Emilia
Emilia: Yeah, te too (Gets in her car and drives off)
Malcolm: (Gets on his scooter and drives off)
June: (See’s them leave, still holding up the sign) Guys, please, I’m getting really cold now.