No più Heroes 2 does things… differently from the first game. Gone is the overworld to explore. Gone is the unique enemies of every level. Gone is the chance to collect trading cards. And gone is fun mini-games. But hey, at least now we have some pretty cool bosses… For the most part. While No più Heroes 2 definitely falls behind the first No più Heroes in some instances, it makes up in others, such as story, music, and even some bosses. And with the addition of fifteen bosses in the game, it makes sense that there would be some great bosses… And some stinkers too. So that is what I will be talking about today. A lista of the superiore, in alto five best and worst No più Heroes bosses. From the highest assassins to the lowest scum. Now, some of these bosses, te may disagree where I put them, but remember that this is simply my opinion. With that out of the way, let’s begin, starting with the worst.

#5: Nathan Copeland



Okay, let me start out da saying, as a character and in design, I really enjoy Nathan Copeland. It’s hard for me to call him one of the worst bosses when this guy is going around with a boom box while blasting rap sung in Japanese. Nathan is an Irish rapper who runs a religious cult, and only did all of this just to die da Travis hands in a fight. Now, that all sounds good and all, but then te get to the fight. The fight starts out fair enough, with him attacking te with his boom-box arms (Which is a cool weapon), but then things start to get hectic. The chandelier in the center will fall to hit you, lasers and machine pistole will come from the ceiling, plants will start to explode, and the floor will start moving. Eventually, it becomes a bullet hell boss, just trying to dodge everything te can. It gets really bad when Nathan runs to the opposite end of the room, and while you're trying to avoid exploding plants and lasers, he will fuoco rockets at you, and deplete your Beam Katana, forcing te to recharge only to run out of battery life again. The fight becomes less of a fight and doing your damndest to roll out of the way of Nathan’s attacks. There’s più rolling in this fight than a majority of Dark Souls’ bosses. In later playthroughs, he becomes much più tolerable, but for all those first timers, get ready for a very stressful fight.

#4: Matt Helms



Despite being one of the creepiest… things in, pretty much games, what with being the soul of a dead child that came back for revenge and now feeds off of hate and suffering, this boss fight is terrible! I thought the fight with Shinobu was a cluttered mess, but this one takes the cake. At least Shinobu’s fight didn’t put a bunch of crap in the way. This fight puts te in a room filled with objects. Destructible, granted, but still in the way. And because of the tight area, mixed with Matt Helms large size, it can be a true pain to even see his attacks. These attacks range from heavy swings from his axe, throwing molotovs that stay burning when they hit the ground, and dodging his slow moving flamethrower. The darkness, mixed with trying to fight the piss poor camera in this fight, can cause the fight to become very cluttered very fast. You’ll have a hard time trying to get your bearings during this fight, and that is if te don’t get annihilated in the first go. And no, the walls don’t help much, since te can easily get yourself caught when te clearly dodge an attack only to get hit again. For a scary boss, this terrible location sure does ruin all that scary tension.

#3: New Destroyman



I never thought that having two of this wonderful cheap bastard would be terrible, but they managed to find a way. New Destroyman, in concept, is a good idea. After being diviso, spalato in have in the first game, he came back as half robot, with the other half doing the same, each with a slightly different personality. One behaves più calm and polite while the other is a rude, perverted killer. They’re still both cheaters, of course. But sadly, the charm wears off incredibly fast, because No più Heroes isn’t exactly the best when it comes to targeting multiple enemies at a time. So naturally, it sucks when te have to do it in a boss fight. One of the New Destroyman will try to punch, punzone and electrocute te while the other will shoot projectiles at you. If te aren’t perfect with dodging, te will get hit da the other’s projectiles when trying to hit the one. It becomes so frustrating. But don’t worry, because after te beat the first one, it goes from annoying to slow and boring. te have to be careful, as when one goes down, the other can revive them and bring them back. That’s bad on it’s own, but I found that if te just wait under the platforms the secondo New Destroyman is under, he can’t hit you. When he goes to ground level, just get to the downed Destroyman first and then attack him. This will go on for a good while, so get ready for a slow fight.

#2: Million Gunman



Million Gunman is as uninteresting as it gets. He is just a bank owner, and that is as far as that story goes. What’s the symbolic nature about him? That crime doesn’t pay o some shit? I don’t know. Anyway, this fight is utter garbage. I hated this fight the moment I started, and that’s mainly because te are playing as Shinobu. I grew a little più fond of Shinobu in this game over the secondo one, but playing as her is a mess. Bad platforming, and stopping a combo to taunt enemies is one of the most annoying things ever. Now put that in a boss fight. At least New Destroyman could be beaten without platforming. Here, it is mandatory. Million Gunman attacks with shooting coin bullets, but watch out for his unblockable where he shoots… più coin bullets. Honestly, the only cool sposta he has is where he ricochets bullets at you. But when you’re fighting him, te aren’t going to be thinking how cool that is. You’re going to be thinking about how te are going to get up on the platform and why the hell Gunman won’t stay still when te try to fight him. It becomes a boring game of cat and mouse, only the cat can’t jump properly and the topo, mouse can shoot the shit out of you. But, if you’re lucky to avoid the annoying part, this boss can become super easy. So, let me explain. I don’t know if this is a real strategy o if I just broke the game, but I attacked Million Gunman with three slashes, and he proceeded to roll dodge and start up an attack. I then did the same three slashes again, and he followed with another dodge roll. This went on until I got all of his health down. He never ran off and he rarely got a shot in. Again, I don’t know if this is a real strategy o if the game just bugged out, but screw it. Anything to get me passed this boss fight quicker.

(THE successivo ENTRY CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE GAME)

#1: Jasper Batt Jr.



Many stories were told about the final boss of No più Heroes. None good, all bad news. And in the end, I can say for certainty… Yeah, they were all true. This is one of the worst bosses ever put into a video game ever. Nothing about this fight works in the way that it should, and manages to fail in not one, not two, but three different phases. Being the Rank 1 assassin and the main antagonist of the entire game, te would think that he would be a little più interesting o fun, like Henry from the precedente game, but Jasper is anything but. The first phase starts out easy. Like, really easy. Just counter him and te will have him beat as soon as possible. He just flies at you, throws pathetically easy to dodge bats, and shoots lasers. After te finally manage to get all of his health down, he will then sposta on to the secondo phase of the fight, where he turns into a much stronger boss. After this, things only go downhill. They weren’t exactly uphill in the first place, but there’s no getting out of this momentum now. The boss becomes insanely hard, with all of his moves being nearly unpredictable and hard to dodge even when te do predict them. He can spam the hell out all of his moves. The start is fair enough, especially after you’ve died numerous times. But then he starts teleporting around the room and punching te numerous times before te have a chance to render what is going on, while te are stuck on the ground, unable to get up. And then there is the lovely Hurricane Punch, allowing him to send te flying across the room and have no time to react. And god forbid te are in between a punch, punzone of his o a window. This window bullshit is honestly worse than any insta-kill the original game could pull off. Finally, there is the third phase. And it is putrid. The design alone, being a giant parade float, is utterly stupid. But the fight’s not much better. It could, in fact, on a technical level, be worse than the others, as te will not be able to see what is going on, if te get too far from Jasper, te will be hit with an unavoidable move, and the camera will just get sucked inside of Jasper, making it hard to tell what he is doing or, hell, even what te are doing. After that, te beat the game. What a terrible boss fight. I have heard many times in the past that this fight was intentionally bad. Suda51, the symbolism loving bastard that he is, wanted to make the fight terrible in every sense of the way just to make a point that revenge is not really satisfying, to give the player a sort of, “That’s it?” feeling. While I can respect the idea, than tell me why Travis, having this revelation after the fight with the Rank 2 boss, was done in the first place? It just makes the final boss seem a lot più pretentious than what it was meant to be. There are other ways to make a point than to sacrifice gameplay, Suda51.

Now, with those stinkers out of the way, I think now is the right time to talk about some better bosses. So let us sposta on to the five best.

#5: Kimmy Howell



Being an optional boss after defeating Matt Helms, Kimmy can actually be missed, which I think adds to the interest to fight this boss. Kimmy is a typical nervous fangirl, seeing Travis as her idol and claiming to be his number one fan. The only downside is that she carries all of the traits of a typical yandere with her. Being just the right amount of crazy, her goal as taking part in the UAA is to kill Travis in battle and take his spot in the ranking. This makes the fight with her much più interesting. The only time Travis faced an assassin that was underneath him was in the first game, and we never got to fight him. But now, we have a chance of fighting a boss underneath him. And the fight is pretty fun, if a little silly at some points. Kimmy is able to use lightning fast and hard to dodge strikes, as well as hit te with… bubbles… Yes, she launches bubbles at you. The fight is kind of on the easy side, but can really destroy te if te aren’t careful on your first runthrough of the game. The intro cutscene, however, is perfect. Travis Leggere the letter as it gets progressively più and più disturbing while Kimmy plays on her flute before it turns into a double-sided Beam Katana is just funny. And in the spirit of No più Heroes, Travis can’t bring himself to kill a schoolgirl. And hey, we may o may not see from her again. Maybe! Maybe not! I don’t know how to end segments.

#4: Ryuji



Okay, first a few negative points. First, why does the fight play Matt Helms’ theme? Second, the motorcycle fight is terrible! I get what it was trying to go for, a sumo fight with motorcycles, but that doesn’t make the controls any less shit. Thankfully, the fight afterward is one of the best. Ryuji is your usual strong man from the east, wishing to fight with honor and power, without using any hidden tricks and only fighting in a fair fight, with the victor winning from skill and strength alone. Ryuji, despite fighting with just his lance, manages to be a very difficult fight if te aren’t paying attention. te need to know the right time to strike, the right time to dodge, and the right time to block. He will launch his lance at you, and even do a grab, proving that te need to know exactly what movements he makes when te are fighting him so te don’t get yourself killed. And then there is his strongest and craziest attack, when he sends out a giant energy dragon to attack you. When this comes out, just dodge like crazy. It becomes utter hell to dodge all that, but not impossible o unfair like when fighting Nathan Copeland. And in the end, Ryuji forfeits the match and Travis is the victor, only for Ryuji to be gunned down regardless. And this is just the start of bosses that make people sad.

#3: Captain Vladimir Taktarov



Okay, all of the jokes that he is basically The Fury from Metal Gear Solid 3 aside, this is another emotional and fun boss. A Russian astronaut believing he is still inside spazio during the Cold War, he attacks Travis, not out of malicious intent, but out of fear (Which actually makes me wonder how he became an assassin in general, let alone Rank 3, but whatever). Vladimir cannot be hit from the front, due to him using a shield to protect him, and can only be attacked from the back. He can use his technology to lift and throw rocks, and fuoco a laser beam at you, ranging from a quick and blockable one to a powerful rotating one that te have to roll out of the way to avoid. Vladimir is also capable of teleporting around the stage, so te will always be trying to find him in the area, but it’s never too hard, but clearly makes it a challenge for te to keep up with him. But Vladimir also gets some help in this fight with the use of a giant spazio station that can fuoco a few lasers from the sky and even a giant laser cannone that can engulf a good chunk of the area and will follow you, so be ready to run when te see that thing coming down. It’s only after Travis defeats him does Vladimir realize he is back on Earth and dies peacefully, making for a very emotional scene, even when te remember te just fought an astronaut with a giant laser cannon.

#2: Margaret Moonlight



Oh boy, if Bad Girl was the preferito among cosplayers from the first game, than I have a feeling Margaret is this one’s Bad Girl. Margaret Moonlight is probably one of my preferito designed bosses, and I’m not just saying that because she is in Gothic lolita attire. She looks like death itself, and considering that her entire boss is based around that fact, it makes her design all the più interesting. The fight starts with Margaret shooting at te with a fucile from atop a sign, before coming down to fight te up close. Margaret’s strategy consists of laming it out, running and shooting at you, forcing te to run after her. The fight can become either annoying if te are blocking o a fun challenge if te know to dodge at the right time. Margaret isn’t completely useless in close range, as he fucile doubles as two scythes that she can use to attack you, while changing it up to guns. I have to say, after the disappointing fight with Dr. Peace in the last game and the mistake that was Million Gunman’s fight, Margaret probably has the most fun gun boss fight in the series. And don’t even get me started on her boss music. The Musica that plays, Philistine, is one of the catchiest songs in video games, and I Amore it so much. It adds to the already grim atmosphere of the fight and turns it from a cool fight into a deeply cool one… I wrote that sentence and I am sorry.

(THIS BOSS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE GAME)

#1: Alice Twilight



This is as high as te can get when it comes to bosses in video games. The fight with Alice takes place on a rooftop at sundown, a point of change in most film and games, a very symbolic point for the characters. Alice fights Travis with not one, not two, but five Beam Katanas, each held da robotic arms, and she carries herself with a single robotic leg. Despite this threatening weapon, the fight is filled with no cheap shots o cheating gimmicks. The fight only consists of two equally strong assassins fighting to the death. She never does anything to trick you, never does anything that would be considered cheap o gimmicky, and only fights te fair and square. The Musica is one of the most somber in the game, something unheard of in the entire series up to this point. And then there is Alice herself, the reason why I think she is the best No più Heroes boss. She is sitting on superiore, in alto of this roof, stating that she has grown tired of all of the fighting that the UAA uses in it’s ranked fights. She knows that, now that Travis is here, she has accepted that she will die on this very roof, as shown when she is burning a set of photographs. She never discusses her family, her friends, her life, what she likes, o anything like that, because her life as an assassin, being forced to kill others, has drained her, and she no longer wants to take it, and knows she will die at the hands of Travis, only giving him her name in death, and knowing that she will die for nothing in the end, just makes the fight all the più depressing. When Travis does kill her, it does not go over well. Bosses like agrifoglio Summers, Ryuji, Margaret, and Vladimir were already making Travis domanda his part in the UAA and the UAA as a whole, but the death of Alice is what pushes him to his limit.The fight has everything. The music, the symbolism, the character, and the fight itself is what makes Alice my preferito No più Heroes boss. Also, remember, Jasper was fought after her… Let that sink in.