I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the Amore of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'


Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if te get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened da the time she brings it to the couch.

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!' Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather o cold?' The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house da noon!'

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the strada, via bald and still think they are beautiful!

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and te had to choose, would te go to lunch o to a movie?

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.