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posted by fanofh2o
I will not skip to the headmaster's office Canto 'we're off to see the wizard' ... lol

"I will not make jokes about Lupin and 'his time of the month'"

Knock knock.
Whos there?
te know.
te know who?
He's dead, te can say his name now.



How many deatheaters does it take to light up a wand?
One, but you'll have to find one with a hand.

How many snape's does it take to light up a wand?
WAIT! HE'S ABOUT TO INVENT THE NEWEST REMEDY FOR GREASY HAIR!

The Giant Squid is not an appropriate data to the Yule Ball.

I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told te I was hardcore".

I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. (luv this one)

House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".

I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.

The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.

Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".

Asking "How do te keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

When I get sent to the headmasters office, I will Not sing 'We're off to see the wizard!'

how many slytherins does it take to screw a light bulb
5. 1 to screw the light bulb and 4 to say with their fathers connection at the ministry they could screw it faster

Whats snapes boggart?
and he was like what?
And i detto " A cauldron full of Shampoo!"

.-Knock, knock
-Who's there?
-Cornelius
-Cornelius who?
-Well, that's politics for you.........

Why did Potter attraversare, croce the road.
No reason, but someone will write a book about it.

Why did Draco attraversare, croce the road?
So he could swing his hips at Potter.

Why did Crabbe and Goyle attraversare, croce the road?
Draco did.

Why did the Dark Lord attraversare, croce the road?
Because Potter couldn't stop him.

Why did Death Eaters attraversare, croce the road?
The Dark Lord ordered it.

Why did Trevor attraversare, croce the road?
To get away from Longbottom.

Why did Dumbledore attraversare, croce the road?
He was following the poisoned limone drops.

Why did Professor Snape stand in the road?
So no one could tell what side he was on.

Why do Slytherins attraversare, croce the road twice?
Because they are doublecrossers.

How many Purebloods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What's a lightbulb?

How many witches does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the Wizarding World doesn't use lightbulbs.

How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb. One to rotate the room.

How many Muggles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. It is the only thing they are good for.

How many aurors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The Dark Lord already killed the ones with that kind of know-how.
added by linhousepotter
Source: www.snitchseeker.com
added by linhousepotter
Source: www.snitchseeker.com
added by -SarahRaRaRa-
Source: snitchseeker.com
When people tell me that James “grew out of bullying”, I always respond with the canonically sound FACTS that James Potter was 21 when he died, 20 when Harry was born and *19* when Harry was conceived. He had *no time* to change out of his bullying bullshit personality towards Severus. Just take a look around te and see if te can name half a dozen of your under-21 male friends/acquaintances who te think would make such an awesome hubby and father right now (oh, and don’t discount the bullies te know who pick on people “just because they exist”). And when we keep telling te that...
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posted by LifesGoodx3
As many people here on the Harry Potter spot know, Sirius Black is my preferito character. He has always been and always will be. Some people, along with me, Amore him. Some hate him. Some don't have much of an opinion on him. I've decided that I want to explain why I like Sirius, and how I came to like him.

I saw HP 1-6 Film before Leggere any of the books. I remember loving Sirius, even before I read the books. I believe the reason I liked him at the time was the relationship he had with Harry. Harry never really had a father figure, and Sirius was the first family he had. I must have thought...
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Here's a comparison and contrast essay I wrote for school - keep in mind my English teacher has never read Harry Potter, so I had to explain stuff.

When comparing a book and a film, o something similar, the first thing one thinks about is obviously the plot. And in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, at first glance, you'll find it's rather similar in both the book and the film. Harry, Ron and Hermione, the main trio, go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for their sixth year. They're shocked when they find out that ex-Potions Master Severus Snape has been named Defence Against...
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added by DarkSarcasm
Source: cozypotter @ tumblr
This articolo was inspired da commenti da Pensieve_Seeker. It lists 40 examples of ring composition within the series.

1. Voldemort's first defeat is discussed in the first chapter of Philosopher's Stone. He returns in Goblet of fuoco and is defeated for the final time at the end of Deathly Hallows.

2. Harry sees his late parents in the Mirror of Erised in Philosopher's Stone. He sees them again via Priori Incantem in Goblet of Fire, and again through use of the Resurrection Stone in Deathly Hallows.

3. Harry becomes an orphan at the start of the series, and in Deathly Hallows his godson, Teddy...
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added by alkinza
5. Hermione Granger

Obviously the most mature of the three of the five main characters. I feel that every trio needs the brains, which I believe Hermione has successfully provided for them. Even though I hated her at the beginning of the series, she grew as the series grew pushing her into my superiore, in alto five.

4. Ron Weasley-

Same with Hermione, even though I did like him since the beginning I felt he grew with the series. I did get a little annoyed at his continuously being envious of Harry and his own brothers, I guess all characters have their flaws. I Amore Ron!

3. Lord Voldemort-

Or He Who Should Not...
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added by tubby2002
added by LiLa_66
Source: tumblr
Thanks to zanhar1 for the idea. it was brilliant xD

*Also like to point out, this is like a crack!fic so non of the characters will act like they usally do*

It took a lot of yelling and arguing, but Bellatix finally did it. She finally got Voldemort to go to the spiaggia with her.
Once they got to the spiaggia they both hissed at the sunlight. They weren't too fond of it since they preferred the dark, If te couldn't tell from their pasty pale skin.
Bellatrix had pick out a nice costume da bagno to mostra off for the lord, since she really wanted him to like her. Voldemort on the other hand, was covered head...
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added by LoveSterlingB
Source: @hpotterfacts on Tumblr
added by nikibella
Source: tumblr
added by Thecharliejay
Those are the memories of Severus Snape, a.k.a. 'The half-blood Prince' as seen in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2.
video
deathly hallows
snape
lily evans
added by nessie-eska
Source: PotionWolf30936 on Pottermore