random Article: 21 Funny Status Messages PT 2

6

posted by simpleplan

really don't hate you, I'm just severely allergic to stupidity

I'm not having a battle of wits with you, I refuse to fight a unarmed opponent

Who ever says "words can't hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary

People say money can't buy happiness. They LIE. Money can buy a jet-ski. te ever see anyone unhappy on a jet-ski? Well?

Wants to know...If pistole kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids

Everyone's entitled to be stupid but te are abusing the privilege

Why yes, I do frequently burst out in song

I mean Come on, really who took my crayons??

I'm not a stalker I'm just curious... da the way your out of latte

Wonders why they tell te to smile for your drivers license... You're not going to be smiling when a cop pulls te over

Going to sue Red toro for false advertisement and medical bills. They looked at me funny when I explained that I should have had wings when I jumped..

The wrapper on the toilet paper roll read "100% recycled". Really stop and think about that.

Of course I'll try to see things from your point of view, as soon as te pull your head out of your ass.

"Strap-on" is "no-parts" spelled backwards. Coincidence?

Dares te to press ALT + F4

Knows that the erba is always greener, when it's rolled up in a paper

Is wondering if te choke a smurf, what color does it turn???

I am going to Consumer Affairs. I bought a packet of M&M;'s and it was full of W's

I thought of te today. I threw up in my mouth a little. I'm sure it was just a coincidence.

So sorry I missed you, I ran out of bullets.

deathding, Tdinoahiscute4 and 4 others like this

Annacrombie lol i changed my status to I'm not a stalker I'm just curious... By the way your out of milk

sashlow i liked the sixth one best

dsprtpenguin haha me too :)

5

Idk wat the titolo is chapter two: the Dwarves

posted by misscrazel

As we walked I could tell we were getting closer to the Dwarfs. I could see the fence around there houses and I could hear them talking. I could also tell someone was watching us. She was a Dwarf peering through a hole in the fence at us. I couldn't see her but I could feel her watching us. Then I heard her turn and leave. Her footsteps were very loud and almost hurt my ears.
Like an elefante I thought.
"Could the Dwarfs help us?" I asked my mother.
"I suppose they could." detto my mother.
She went to the front where the leader of the group was. She spoke to him then came back.
"We're asking...

3

50 Things To Do In An Elevator

posted by TeamSongz4eva

**got this off the interent its pretty funny!**

1.Make race car noises when anyone gets on o off.

2.Blow your nose and offer to mostra the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of te just shut UP!

4.Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.

5.Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7.Shave.

8.Crack open your ventiquattrore, sincronia file o purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?

9.Offer name tag to everyone getting on the...

2

MILEY'S HACKER FINALLY CAUGHT

posted by ShiningsTar542

Remember when Miley's MySpace was hacked?

When the Myspace account of Miley Cyrus was hacked two years ago, authorities didn't make any immediate arrests.

The F.B.I. recently caught Josh agrifoglio who admitted that he was the one who hacked Miley's account and distributed foto of the young star.

"He confirmed that he was the person who had obtained data from Miley Cyrus' MySpace account without authorization." detto an official.

Miley Cyrus hacker has been identified after the F.B.I. arrested 21 year-old Josh agrifoglio in Nashville last week on charges related to multiple credit card numbers in his possession.

Josh not only hacked Miley, but many other stella, star accounts! X/

We sure Miley is a lot più at peace now that Josh has been busted.

5

te are più

posted by silverlocket

You are più than the choices that te make. te are più than the many hearts you’ll break. te are più than your dreams that don’t come true. te are più than whatever people think of you.
You are più than the things that te say. te are più than the places that te stay. te are più than the things that te do. te are più than I could ever think of you.
You are so much più than what te think. Your life right now is only beginning These tests and trials that come to you, are meant to make te someone new. te are more. te are worth it. te are so much greater than te think...

5

Funny super market joke**

posted by jessicamc26

A supermercato had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "don't worry, ya ," he said. "I'll pack some più trays and have them ready for te da the time te finish shopping." Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."

7

12 days of fast Cibo

posted by karpach_14

On the first giorno of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
A Big bacon, pancetta affumicata Classic with cheese.

On the secondo giorno of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big bacon, pancetta affumicata Classic with cheese.

On the third giorno of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big bacon, pancetta affumicata Classic with cheese.

On the fourth giorno of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big bacon, pancetta affumicata Classic with cheese.

On the fifth giorno of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Five cipolla rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three...

glad te came

added by hettycool

Source: hettycool

1

my shrine part one

added by EllentheStrange

Source: me

1

perfect life... think again chapter 1 (plz read)

posted by karpach_14

Perfect life?? Think again
Ok so lets start off like this. I’m evelina McCartney, and I’m 17. My brother Jesse is 23 and he’s famous. But people rarely know who I am. And sometimes I like it. Because I get to be treated like a normal person, not a celebrity……….. I came downstairs because my parents told me that Jesse is coming from his tour and im so happy because I haven’t seen him for so long which seems like a life time.
“mom can I go and get Jesse with Erin” I asked my mom. Erin was our limo driver. But of course she detto no. they never let me. My brother wasn’t dating...

baby laughing devil

added by marthatsal

baby, laugh

video

1

i want my mama!

added by marthatsal

baby, cute ,mama

video

2

Moon&sea

added by storylover

1

New Series: Come Fly With Me (An Advert)

added by -RandomChick-

A new series that's suppose to air soon. I Amore that 'Bangkok' scene, thingy :D

video

funny

weird

random

1

My random Blog Type Thing 2.

posted by emilyroxx

Llamas R us

Guess what? I’m back! I’ve decided that I’m going to write one of these every few days when I get bored. So… have te noticed that the quality of cartoon shows has decreased within the last 5 years? I mean, what ever happened to Invader Zim and Courage the Cowardly Dog? Those were good quality shows. Now, the best that they can come up with is Fanboy and Chum Chum. (The most annoying mostra ever.) te know what mostra really depresses me? Spongebob. That used to be a really good show, but now they have new writers and the mostra SUCKS. Whenever my brother plays it now, I leave the room.
My...

4

Hurt chapter 2

posted by RosaluvzJB

Hurt

Chapter 2; A New Friend

I get to school and go to home room. "Class, I would like to introduce the newest doomed child in this doomed school of doom." Ms. amaro, bitter says. In steps a pretty girl who is tall, slinder, but she does have curvs. She has long, medium brown hair that goes to the middle of her back and beautiful, brown eyes. The new girl gives a scared look at Ms. Bitters' words and says "Hi! I'm Abby." I raise my hand. "What do te want, Dib?" Ms. amaro, bitter asks. "I want to ask Abby a question." I say. "Fine. What is it?" Ms. amaro, bitter replies. "Do te notice anything strange about...

2

dbz version of ata taekwando ranks

posted by dbz9000

purple belt: kaio ken x1

blue belt: kaio ken x2

brown belt: kaio ken x3

red belt: kaio ken x4

red/black belt: false super saiyan

black belt: super saiyan

2nd dagree black belt: super saiyan 2

3rd degree black belt: super saiyan 3

4th degree black belt: super saiyan 4

and so on.......... im false super saiyan

2

New Self-Improvement Courses ((LMAO))

posted by TeamSongz4eva

RI 500 Creative suffering
RI 501 Overcoming Peace of Mind
RI 502 te and Your Birthmarks
RI 503 Guilt Without Sex
RI 504 The Primal Shrug
RI 505 Ego Gratification Through Violence
RI 506 Moulding your Child's Behavior Through Guilt and Fear
RI 507 Dealing With Post-Realization Depression
RI 508 Whine your Way To Alienation
RI 509 How to Overcome Self-Doubt Through Pretence and Ostentation
RI 510 How to Cope with Jet Lag
RI 511 How to Improve your Horoscope
RI 512 How to Relax and Let your Lawn Grow
RI 513 Classic TV Guide Literature
RI 514 Recalling Bad Jokes
RI 515 Reciting Monty Pithon
RI 516 Repair and Maintenance of your Virginity

3

My random Blog Type Thing (Part SIX)

posted by emilyroxx

Okay, instead of just Scrivere about random things that no one really cares about, I’m going to make a lista of my absolute preferito words in the entire universe. But first: HAPPY CHRISTMAHANUKWANZA!!!! Most people just say Happy Holidays, but I like to be original. 

1.    Blimo = The mix between a blimp and a limo
2.    Uber = It’s like very, but più epic.
3.    Freaking = it’s like saying ‘fucking’ but te don’t get in trouble for saying it.
4.    Epic/Epicness = you’d better know what this means.
5.    Pie...

2

the tunnels

posted by misscrazel

6
Dominic
It was Monday. I was sitting with Scarlet in front of the entrance to the tunnels. We were waiting for Stephanie and Spencer. Stephanie was coming because Spencer was coming. Spencer ran over and hugged me. I pulled him of.
We stumbled into the darkness
Stephenie groped around for her flashlight. I heard a click. Light flooded the halls. I took one look around and realized how hard this was going to be.
I held Scarlet's hand and stepped forward. Spencer clung to me nervously.
***
It had been awhile when a shrill scream rang through the air. Scarlet immediately ran towards it.
"Carlotta!" She yelled into the darkness. "Carlotta!"

3

Blight

posted by Jekyde

The following is a police tape of an interview with the only witness to a murder in the Aloceras Ravine.

Officer Howard:Alright, Bobby. Glad to see you're here.

Bobby:Am I gonna get arrested?

Officer Howard:No, Bobby. Just tell us what te saw.

Bobby:Oh...where do I start?

Officer Howard:Just tell us how he died.

Bobby:Okay, so....I was standing about 15 feet behind Mervin...and...I saw these two weird lights to the left of him. I tried to warn him, but...he couldn't hear me.

Officer Howard:What did these lights look like?

Bobby:Well...they were both exactly the same...lavender and circle-shaped,...