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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

rose are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at te trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can baciare a guy* a bird can baciare a butterfly* the rising sun can baciare the grass* but te my friend!! yes you!! te CAN baciare MY ASS*******

If te didn't have feet te wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do te wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for te %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but te need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle

People like te are the reason I'm on medication.

Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide these bodies

I have always woundered why people bang their heads against brick walls..... then I met you.

Don't bother leaving a message.

Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside da itself!

I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
Hey, Remember that time I told te I thought te were cool? I LIED.

I need you...........I want you............To get out of my face

Damn not te again.......

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but te abuse the privilege.

If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called te first.

I am not anti-social..I just don't like you

If you're gonna act like a dick te should wear a condom on your head so te can at least look like one !!!

Hmm...I dont know what your probelm is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...

There are some stupid people in this world. te just helped me realize it.

Until te called me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly.

If te ran 1,000,000 miles to see the boy/girl of your dreams, what would te say when te got there?

Wow, te looked a lot hotter from a distance!

cancella my subscriptions ... I'm tired of your issues.

I may be fat,but you're ugly,and I can diet!!!

Earth is full. Go home.

If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.

Hey, heres a hint. If i don't answer te the first 25 times, what makes te think the successivo 25 will work?

how do te keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

Oh dear! Looks like te fell out of the ugly albero and hit every branch on the way down!

What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...

I'm sorry, Talking to te seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.

Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop te when te were a baby?

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

God made mountains, god made trees, god made te but we all make mistakes.

Remember Gesù loves te but everyone else thinks you're an idiot.

I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.

Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.

Why don't te go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone

How about a little less domande and a little più shut the hell up? I'm away live with it.

FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this

morning... Leave me alone!
Let's see, I've walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friends...Nope, this lista doesn't say that I'm required to talk to you.

When te were born te were so ugly that instead of slapping you, the doctor slapped your mom!

My Mom detto never talk to strangers and well, since you're really strange.... I guess that means I can't talk to you!

Forget the ugly stick! te must have been born in the ugly forrest!

I really don't like te but if te really must leave a message, I'll be nice and at least pretend to care.

te know the drill! te leave a message....and I ignore it!

The Village just called. They detto they were missing their town idiot, I couldn't really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was yours...

I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!!

Why are te bothering me? I have my away message on cause I don't want to listen to te and your stupid nonsense.

te dont know me, te just wish te did.

Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't te go play in traffic?!

te have your whole life to be a jerk....so why dont te take a giorno off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!!
added by Mallory101
added by EllentheStrange
Source: 4tnz
added by sapherequeen
added by keninv
added by ilovekud
Source: ilovekud
added by Helen-Lover
added by iFly_12
added by Galbraith
posted by misscrazel
Hi!^-^ I wanted to post the beginning of my story and please tell me what te think!^-^

Cupid's POV

I sit in my house, slumped at my desk, staring at the flickering candle on my windowsill. Firelight dances across the walls, casting eerie shadows. Cold air blows through the open window, causing the curtains to flutter and the candle to go out. Leaving me alone in the dark, empty room.
What is my purpose in life? Making people fall in love? I don't even know what I'm here for anymore. Rain trickles through the window.
'You're alone too, aren't you?' I ask. Every time there's a storm I talk to her....
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Today I shall be reviewing Bionicle the Mask of Light. If te don't know Bionicles, here's a description: The Bionicles are a race of Techno-Organic beings, the good ones are known as Toa, and the bad ones are known as Makuta.

Plot: The movie starts with some neat backstory behind the Bionicles. After that, we are introduced to Jaller and Takua, who find the Mask of Light. Now it's up to them and the 6 other Toa to find it's owner, the 7th Toa.

I definitely thought this movie's plot was interesting because they actually have to look for the Toa, instead of the Toa coming to them. It's a very...
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posted by misscrazel
                One: Pike
I scrambled out my bedroom window. I slid down the gutter and scampered down the street. 
    Soon I arrived at a small brick house. Hurrying over to a bedroom window I  tapped on it lightly. Moments later a girl's face peered up. Her brown eyes sparkled in the moonlight. 
    I smiled and beckoned. After awhile she stepped outside onto the cement porch. 
"I missed you, Penelope." I said 
"I missed te to, Pike." She said 
    Penelope-Rose walked over and kissed me. 
"I found somewhere," I said, "somewhere we could be alone."
"Take me there." detto Penelope-Rose. ...
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7:00 AM.Today was the day!I ran outside.A small farfalla rests on a tiny plant.I try to catch all of them.Then,I stood frozen.It was there.A Blue jay.I haven't seen one since I was 5.I tried to get a picture.It flew away."Dang."I said.I looked at the fiori on my shirt.Light yellow and purple flowers.I couldn't believe it.School was out.Finally!I followed the clouds to a path.A long path.I stood on the concrete.Shoes in hand.Barefoot steps.I followed the path.Then I saw them.Both of them.
Alicia and Henry.
"Guys?What are te doing?"I asked.
"Sh!Come on."Alicia beckoned me.
I saw the door.We went...
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A long cave.I was strolling down with my sword in my sword in my hand.Then,TAP TAP!Ariana stood at the front of the cave.Then,she held up her hand,then instantly the sword flew out of my hand.
"Well,well,well.If it isn't little miss-she-can-defeat-me!Ha ha!WRONG!"Ariana's large voice echoed through out the cave.I ran to her.Little did I know.
She had her sword in her hands.
I fell to the ground holding my aching knee.
"Ha ha ha!You fail!Give up,Sarah.I have Maybelle.You're alone.And you're hopeless.Give...Up."She detto slowly.
She walked toward the hut Maybelle was in.
I instantly dropped to the ground.I...
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"Hey,Joan.It's Sam.Call me back...when ever...Or sooner.I've been calling for...an hour.So,call me!"Said Sam as she left a voice mail for her friend,Joan.She started to get worried.Joan hasn't called her in a week!She wondered if she should go over to her house,And she did.When she knocked on the door,She heard footsteps.Running,Footsteps."Joan.Joan!Joan?"She repeated."Sh!"She heard come from the peep hole.Sam looked inside the hole.She saw a head peek up,A small head."JOAN!"Sam yelled.Nothing,No sound,Nothing."JOAN!I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"Sam Yelled."Hey girls!"Joan's mom said."Who's at the...
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posted by samuraibond005
I never really had a life as a kid, I was brought up to lead and to fight, I was never allowed to play with little toy trains o dolls. I learned to shoot with a large combat fucile rather than a bb gun, I learned swordsmanship with a live blade, not a wooden one, o even a stick when I was really young.
As a result of my lack of childhood and my desire to get it back, I met a young boy da the name of Jitsa, he was 8, he loved going out in the woods and hunting with his bb gun, he loved going home afterwards and playing with his little electric trains. I would play with him, though I brought...
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I was thinking about school when I realized that all of my teachers looked like people from books,tv, o movies...

Kindergarten: Mrs. Keisler looked like JJ from Criminal Minds. Same age, same hair, even the same eyes. Not to mention she had a baby named Henry.

2nd Grade: I had this one Leggere teacher that fit Mrs. Dodd's descrizione exactly from the Lightening Theif and she was a mean bird fanatic.

5th Grade: Mrs. Oarsburn was the oldest fattest teacher in the school, so one giorno she showed us a picture of her in her twenties, and I swear to god she was DJ from Full House's evil twin.



6th Grade:...
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posted by JaseKS
50 Ways To Get Asssasinated:

1)Kick an assasin.

2)Poke a mob bosses eye.

3) Bite the Presidents shoe.

4)Stalk your best friend's mom.

5)Have an affair with a wealthy person's feance.

6)Go insane.

7) Kidnapp Jesus.

8) Become a drug dealer.

9)Become an assasin.

10) Become a dictator.

11) Steal Godzilla's plan for world domination.

12)Lick a serial killer's knife.

13) Scream in a room full of assasins, "I wanna be assasinated! I'll leave te all of my money!"

19) Steal from Subways.

20) Kill a murderers wife o husband.

21) Torture a albero infront of a enviormentalist group.

22) Become a terrorsist.

23) Kill an...
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superiore, in alto 11 things to do when your house is on fire


1) Drink cool water from fridge because after a while everything will burn down.
.
2)Time to try out the newest bikini te bought as it is going to be hot with fuoco and all te know.
.
3)Don’t forget to take your phone charger and laptop when te start running out of house.
.
4)Update status on Fb thar your house is on fuoco with picture of your house: A formula which will make te super popolare
.
5)Give miss calls to your relatives and when they call back tell them about fuoco and ask them to bring some food.
.
6)Buy water pouches to put off fuoco till...
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